That day she walked away
was the day my world turned grey
My life went colorless
I became powerless
I felt as if the world was crumbling down
I felt as if I was going to drown
In my own tears
Now about 8 years has passed
and by her memory, I am still harassed
She won't let me be
And I am not able to flee
She still visits my mind
and it is causing me to be blind
To the world around me
I can still see her face
It is something I am not able to erase
I wish I could see her now
because she is something that I cannot live without
Not being able to see her makes me feel so much pain
It's like my world receives no sunlight and only rain
My life is falling apart at the seems
Maybe if I just laid here
All my feelings of grief will disappear
My hurt that she chose "it" over me
The sorrow from realizing that her getting better can't be foreseen
The regret of not trying to stop her from running away
And as a result, my world feels like its under the wrath of Pompeii
My soul is slowly burning away
She is my world
Even if I might not be hers
I will always be there for her
Even though she has never been there for me
I have already forgiven her for the things she did
Even though my other family hasn't
I will love her
Even if she isn't sure that she feels the same way
I will never forget her
Even if she has already forgot me
And, I will never give up on her
Even if no one else believes in her
Because no matter what,
I will always love her!
If you guys are wondering how I came up with the code and what it means, well, this poem is about the feelings I have toward my mother. She is a drug addict. And I have been "tortured" by these feelings about her and how much I miss her. And to write this, I had to "decode" all these feelings and recognize exactly what they were.... I seriously poured my heart and soul into this piece. Hope you guys like it, but if you don't oh well, its my feelings.