the problem is i remember,
everything is all coming back to me
from the moment i first saw you,
to the moment you looked at me with love.

my home is all but cluttered with memories of you
in parts and pieces
mostly whole.
you were my home,
and now i'm at a place where everything is scattered,
my mind,
all the places you've touched,
all the kisses you gave,
all the smiles you threw my way
all the love.

the first time I ever saw you
I knew
I knew,
I could like you for a long time
and that your face would always be engraved
in my mind,
in my heart.

perhaps, I wasted too many time.
perhaps, I am a little too late.
but I never forget the first time I ever saw you.
I knew,
I knew.

sometimes, I fall into deep despair,
plagued with thoughts
and
remembering every moment,
and second
that hurt.
I feel like a failure for every moment
that I cause anger,
that I cause you to get lost,
that I cause a change,
sometimes for the worst.
Maybe its true
that I everything I touch
with my heavy hands,
shatters at some point,
and
it is what I end,
picking up.
Its why I always end up with
broken
and
bleeding hands.

Only this time,
I swear,
this too shall pass.

to you, my sweet,
my sunshine --
thank you.
for carrying me through the rough waters,
the rock bottom and my own perilous self --
for holding me with your steady hands
after i stumbled and fell into what felt like a chasm
filled with anxiety and despair
for being resolute,
despite my unwillingness to move --
thank you.

i do not know what i did, or what i have done,
to deserve someone so beautiful and kind.

for all that you did and all that you've done,
i will remember,
for always.

your kisses are made of heaven
and you somehow made me forget about
all the other kisses i have ever had

ever since your lips laid on mine
i could not stop thinking about it
and how i wish
it will always find its way to my lips
again and again
until you finally whisper that
you love me.

for every day that you're gone
i'm scared i'd lose you even more
you are so close,
yet so far away.
when will this fear come to an end?

you said you were scared of losing me
i guess one day
you just decided to conquer your fears then,
i guess one day
you decided it was time to leave me,
i guess one day,
you decided, i was not worth it any longer.

i'm back to being just a star
in your universe
and while you seek for a brighter star,
i will still be here,
until the universe decides,
it isn't meant to be.