Suppose dreams do come true
Suppose life was lived for you
Suppose that doesn't seem far off.

Suppose it all was milky grey
Suppose there was no black and white
Suppose colors weren't so different
Suppose you look at it in a new light.

Suppose green and purple were neighbors
Suppose hues had no highs and lows
Suppose that maybe in the near future
colors are merely apart of rainbows.

Suppose there was meaning to revolution
Suppose we stuck to the constitution
Suppose it weren't -dom to be free-.

Suppose when we tripped, we were picked back up
Suppose there was no status between you and I
Suppose it were all about "we" and "us"
Suppose there was truth in every little lie.

Suppose we were bees welcomed to every flower
Suppose our instincts was to live and let live
Suppose we all weren't concerned with others' power
but instead gave as much as we could give.

Suppose it such a silly word
like other words that have no meaning.
Like weird, foreign, normal, or absurd,
suppose is only said to describe your believing.

But suppose to suppose wasn't limited.
You can suppose all you want and not make a move
Suppose just one step immediately got you into the groove

Suppose everything was OURS
Oh I know, now you're probably laughing
But suppose I am right...
You could suppose anything but that doesn't mean you can't make it happen.

I suppose I miss the skipped meals
I suppose I miss the number dropping
I suppose I miss the concern
I suppose I'm going back
I suppose I'll stop eating again
I suppose I'll start getting sick again
I suppose that I'm not better
I suppose I enjoyed the slow death
I suppose it didn't matter
I suppose all I wanted was to be skinny
I suppose that's why I'm gone now

I suppose we were naive to
think that because we were
human we were not being
farmed.

I suppose we were naive to
think that equality was even
a possibility when there were
blacks and women.

I suppose we were naive to
think that getting the vote
was something we earned
through protest.

I suppose we were naive to
think equal opportunity was
social evolution not a devious
way to get us in the workforce.

I suppose we were naive to
think because we were white
that we had a special status
and superior to other races.

I suppose we were naive
to think that because we were
carnivores we were at the top
of the animal pyramid.

I suppose were naive to
think that populism was our
liberation from the fascism
of the left.

I suppose we were naive
to think the exceptional's
were more astute than the
deplorables.

I suppose we were naive
think that Americans could
see that Trump was holding
up the grand social reset.

I suppose we were naive
to think the vaccination
was designed after the
Corona Virus began.

I suppose we were
I suppose we are
I suppose we think
that we're not naive?

I am not suppose to be waiting up for you
not when there is a million other things to do

I am not suppose to waiting by the phone
wishing you would call
wishing that you would just give me the chance to talk
explain my side of the story

I am not suppose to be feeling this ****** and down
when you messed up

I am not suppose to just feel alright
forget about what happened the other day
smile and ****** up those roses
and plant a big kiss on your cheek

I am not suppose to light up
after waiting all day on you
to get back to me

I am not suppose to let everything slide
because you had an extra hard day and cant think straight

I am not suppose to pretend that everything is ok
when my face looks like hell and make up aint helping

I am not suppose to get past something that meant a lot to me
and smile at you because you forgot

I am not suppose to keep everything inside
and calm the hell down when there is company around

I am not suppose to stand around while you charm everybody else acting like you have all your **** together
when we both know that there is less 20$ in the bank

I am not suppose to be quiet as the tall men come in my house
ready to repo every **** thing in sight because you were a little late paying the bills and lying to me about how you have everything in control

I am not suppose to mopping floors, cleaning up after rude customers and working 10 hour shifts when there will soon be somebody else to think about

But what to do.. I am in love

Suppose I let you in
and forgot about the past
Let's say we start again
Would we some how make it last?

Suppose that I surrender
Simply follow my heart
Would it be like I remember?
Would it all just fall apart?

Suppose I walk away
Would regret be the end game?
Supposing that I stay
Would the ending be the same?

I suppose I could forgive you
Let go of past mistakes
I suppose "trust" is the issue
That's a promise I can't make

Suppose you walk away
and the moment passes by
Suppose....Let's just say....
It's better as goodbye

Are you my birth mother?
Are birth mothers suppose to be jealous of the life they created?
Are they suppose to put down the very being that they she carried in her womb?
Are you my birth mother?

Are you the woman who gave me life?
When in reality you seem to just want to steal it away like a reaper of death.
When in the big picture you tear me down every chance you get
"You don't love me! I don't love you either! Go be with your father! I don't care!

Are birth mothers suppose to not care?
Are they suppose to put you so low, your demons arise and take you on a journey through hell?
Are they suppose to make you crave the very pain that they are suppose to protect you from?

You say that you want to be in my life when you never call
Never show your face
But I am suppose to do all the work.
Aren't you suppose to be an adult, a role model of what a woman who gives life should be.

Why am I your ugly step child when I am suppose to be the one who you "carried for nine months".

Are you my birth mother?
Can you hate something that you are suppose to have unconditional love for because I came out of you?

I don't think you're my birth mother
Because I unconditionally cannot stand your very existence.

Aren't you suppose to protect me?
Aren't you suppose to love me?
Aren't you suppose to teach me?
Aren't you suppose to support me?
Aren't you suppose to see me grow?
Aren't you suppose to be there for me?
Aren't you suppose to talk to me?
Aren't you suppose to fight for me?
Aren't you suppose to be my father?

Let's suppose, our luck is choosing and
we have no option to choose...
Let's suppose, you are cold breeze
which passes through my hair and
disappears as soon as I try to feel the chill...
Let's suppose, you are a pleasing scent
of rainfall on dry soil which vanishes
as soon as I try to inhale this sensation...
Let's suppose, you are sun and I am moon
and we keep playing hide and seek...
Let's suppose, you are the height of sky and I have wings.
I try to fly till you but can't reach...
Let's suppose, both of us are two shores of sea
which never meet...
Let's suppose, we are not what we are supposing...
Let's suppose, we have choice and we are choosing...

I suppose I should be happy,
My God gave me a blessing by taking away my blessing,
The blessing I was so confused about.
My dear, my precious Firdous.

I suppose I must be happy,
Every inch of my brain is telling me to be happy,
But why is there a ringing in my ears;
And so much weight on my chest,
It's so **** aggravating.

I suppose I could be happy, except that I;
I demand silence,
I demand peace,
I demand anything but to feel like this-
Worthless, insignificant, trash.

I suppose I am happy,
To be the puppet of a universe filled with
So much standard anomalies...
That the universe did not curse me to ****** my own kin...
that I didn't curse my precious with a life...

Oh the little things we tell ourselves to make it easier to live for another day,
Oh but I suppose, I suppose its necessary.
It's **** necessary.

Goodbye my precious. ♡

-fir.m

suppose
Life is an old man carrying flowers on his head.

young death sits in a café
smiling,a piece of money held between
his thumb and first finger

(i say “will he buy flowers” to you
and “Death is young
life wears velour trousers
life totters,life has a beard” i

say to you who are silent.—”Do you see
Life?he is there and here,
or that, or this
or nothing or an old man 3 thirds
asleep,on his head
flowers,always crying
to nobody something about les
roses les bluets
                    yes,
                              will He buy?
Les belles bottes—oh hear
,pas chères”)

and my love slowly answered I think so.  But
I think I see someone else

there is a lady,whose name is Afterwards
she is sitting beside young death,is slender;
likes flowers.

Being with her is exponentially better than anything else in my life.

She laughs at my jokes
She understands my humor
The kind of humor I try on other people
And they wonder what box I thought outside of
And how to get me back in there

She likes the weird nonsense that spurs from my mouth
All the fake scenarios
All the strange hand gestures
And all my weird voices
She likes them all, and they make her laugh

But I don't think this is how friendship is suppose to feel

Do all friends feel the incessant need to hold each other during sleepovers
Does friendship mean noticing the way her skirt sways when she moves
Or the way her eyes dart down to her feet when she walks
Does it mean I'm suppose to want to kiss her when we sit underneath trees

Am I suppose to touch her hand
Am I suppose to not touch it
I want to touch it
I want it interlocked in mine

Does friendship mean she's not suppose to notice my new dress
Even when I notice hers
Does it mean she's not suppose to want to be affectionate with me
Even if just the way she touches my arm gives me goosebumps
Is friendship suppose to feel like you're drowning in your own self pity when she talks about boys
And is it friendship when she cries over them and all I can think is

I could treat you better
You deserve better
I could give you everything
Even my lungs if you really needed them.

Is friendship suppose to hurt this much.