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P for Poems Jun 2015
it's been 2 months,
you never called me once,
i wondered where you were bro,
I missed you so much though,
tbh I thought you left me for good,
and joined them in the hood.
But I was happy when I returned
and the thoughts in my mind began to burn,
You came back to me again,
once again you were my freind.
sorry should I say bro
im glad you didn't let go.
andy fardell Apr 2016
How could I not smile
For the sun shone
Leaving raptuous heat upon my spine
Blinding dazzles fell upon my yellowing eyes
Yet
Inside me only darkness lives

It bleeds it's coldness into my thought's
Washes it's bleakened wishes over my mind


My old freind had returned
The letter was a warm invitation  and a perfect getaway I needed to lay low after are  brief rise to cult status i had partaken of the
rewards of semi obscurity and had a few angry fathers searching for me.

The big apple it called to me like a stripper apon a pole demanding thats all you got is ones you cheap *******?
My true sidkick  like robin to batman just less gay and good looking.

Met me at the station  Amigo how the hell are you now were's the bar?
Drinks on you right?
Cause when your a semi celeb slash rockstar of hello why the **** should i pay.
Why should women be the only ones to walk into a bar with three dollars  in there purse and get rip roaring drunk.
Besides if i was a chick id be a **** *****.

The stage was set the bar was filled with strange sounding people
all asking my well know  brother in madness who tha  ***** this *******.
****** good man im not just any ******* im Gonzo.

Beer on another mans tab always tasted better   just remember ******
im not putting out   well unless  you ask me niceley  or pay  me
like that rich old lady used to who  also was missing her leg.

yes what memeories id slip her a mickey  rearrange her  clothes and after she woke  up tell her what a wild night we had yes i know
true romance.

BUT ENOUGH WITH THE FOREPLAY CHILDREN!

We began are quest like any other  seeing how much ***** we could
hold  till  normal people began to make sense.
I work everyday busting my freakin ***  still it aint enough Gonz.
The angry little italian man who's wallet i had borrowed said beside me.
Hey a girls gotta eat.
Dear lord man you mean you actully have to go back everyday hey is this a gold card   your worse than my wife freakin ***.
Sir you are a charmer  what angry little people  lived here.

Bill lets hit the ******* im in need of culture  and some naked women amigo  come on im  drinks are on Vinny who gives a ****.

After bill  dipped into his life savings to pay the tab we hopped
a cab headed for Manhattan  to the place  of great myths and wonder
it called to great men from arond the world to bask in its beauty.

No not the statue of the giggantic woman  with a torch although i wondred  as i stood below her ****** why cant she be wearing a mini skirt.
You gotta love a big girl  she was such a tease.

No as i stood  tears meeting my bloodshot eyes
befor the mecca  the big apple and the home  of legends and playground to the *****.

Hey get the **** outta the street *******.
It"s Gonzo  man ****** how many times do i need to repeat myself.
Scores a ******* to the rich  a fools paradise **** Disneyland.
Ive been on spacemountian most my life anyways.

As through the doors we were met by a scene of true
art much like the Mona Lisa  if she were a stripper named candice cane  in red high heels hanging from a stripper  pole.

the drinks flowed  the lap dances were well you get the point.
I realized my two drink minimum freind was a little how should i say it poetically.
******* wasted.

As he tried  to give a stripper named honey a lap dance  
never mind him ladies he's my  ******* brother.
In a plan of true drunken genius i explained he was sick and
his last wish was for his older brother to hookup with
some   hot  strippers to have  ahh  some  after hours activities  
Who's ***** bingo.
how i love  bango I mean bingo.

Tears welled up in there eyes  thank god they didnt question why my little brother was 58.
Hey there strippers  and if they  were all going to college  then
this would be a ******* library  not a high  dollar  titie bar.

Librarians with there hair up short tight skirts and glasses
i swear you get busted for  having a little alone time on a public
computer   in that over rated book store for a second time and everyone  flips ****.
Society is so judgemental  but that's another story  
and court case   away.

The plastic fake boobie women had fallin for it.
So like drunken ninjas in a fog of  dellusion and wild turkey we made are last exit to brooklyn.
  
Hey  Gonz why do these chicks keep asking how much longer do i have.
Smacking my friend swiftly in the head had drawn the attention
of the strippers away from counting there tips and comparing there fake breast.

He's got brain dammage sometimes you have to hit em in the  
head to get him unstuck  ****** just look at the poor *******
he thinks he's not sick  oh dam life i need a cuddle girls.
Bill hold the camera.

We hit my friend's apartment like tourist slipping across the boarder grabing and  consuming great amounts of ***** and some sort of white powder  must have been for allergies.

Like squirrels  on acid  running down the interstate we were  
half nuts by the time that big orange ball thats causes me to wear sunglases did appear.

The ladies who names i cant recall  but honestly who gives a ****.
were passed out in bed Bill  in the fish tank  
calling himself captian nimmo  at this point led me to belive just maybe he had  a little  to much  but theres  many pitfalls on the road to Gonzo pacman.

Few men had the liver  or insanity of your's truely.
so after i talked my  tripping amigo off the frige.
Reassuring him its okay   amigo   thats what women look like naked.

I assure you  just cause they broke theres off doesnt mean they'll do the same to yours.
****** son why have a computer if not to look at **** and read long rants by insane people who call themself Gonzo?

After are long disscussion   about good touch bad touch and happy endings  we were off  again.

                                                 Ground Zero

                                        Silence And Respect

Standing there there was a shared  moment.
And a pain any soul could feel.
It wasnt about race or religion  it was about people
we all lost that day.
John Patrick Robbins stood beside a brother without a word
said as it spoke a million feeling's to the soul.

                           No one ever truley leaves there.

At the bus station a few cocktails behind us me and the kiddster
parted slightly hung over   and strung out smelling of reckless abandon
and strippers and wild turkey.

Apon the bus sitting by the window and some large man.
Who reaked of sardines  and  resembled a  cerial ******.
yes ladies he's single  and will probaly **** ya.
Wonder why he has a hard time getting dates?

As Bill waved goobye to his demented  brother from his own planet.
I waved back saying hey amigo  is this your debit card hell no worries
i'll keep  good care of it and reward myself.

As the bus left the station  my semi ******* friend chasing behind
yelling Gonzo i'll get you for this you freakin *******.
Kidster  that hurt i yelled but not as much as it's gonna hurt you bank account cheers.

That guy in black is ******  you  better watch out he's probaly connected.
No worries my funny smelling oversized friend
so am i replied.
I have the internet as well.

Bound for parts unknown Gonzo  made many stops
and if not for legal reason's  id share most of them.
Yes as i sat apon the beach  after taking a little side trip to Florida.
Drink in hand lost in deep thought's for which i cant remember.
      
Reflecting apon my time in the big apple.
And my friend the Kiddster
A toast to my friend.
Hope you like the post card  and the three week vacation
i treated myself to.

Sorry about the whole life savings thing but
who needs to retire in there 80's  work will keep you young girlfriend.

Cheers your slightly insane friend Gonzo.
As in most my writes  this is based on a slightly sober true story
except  for the stealing his credit cards  cause that would be a admission of guilt  and stealing is wrong of course i mean.

Stay crazy Forever Gonzo

And oh yes my friends Billy the  Kiddster is also on hello and if you liked the thirty year old ******  then check out the well really ******* older one.
And Bill no need to thank me  you know i always got your  back  and your pin number.   Fin  amigo
andy fardell  Jan 2012
# cake#
andy fardell Jan 2012
I knew that this would happen
but put it out my mind
I even gave a warning
a madness wasnt wise
yet still you took the cake
and let it turn your soul
the weirdness took your night away
and lost your freind from old
it made me so so mad inside
I really was to pop
but yes i have control these days
so let it all just drop
a shame that we did end this way
I really cannot tell
the cake has got to stop my freind
or god will be your hell
Adesina Temidayo Dec 2019
I know this relationship is new, 
Your character i know a few, ‎
I'm an introvert, how do i relate with you, ‎
Truth is we barely meet, but in my dream all i see is you, ‎
When you're around why do i feel this chill, ‎
Then when you leave, in my head its slide show of you, 

Several theories,  but i find it hard to accommodate,‎
The fact that i am in love again,‎
This love ******* i'm scared to participate,
Paralysis of d mind, m feeling numb again,

As i stand there, stiff like a statue, ‎
I couldn't help, but stare through mid-air, thinking about you‎
Your eyes ,  your smile‎
Would they really mind if your words were lie??
I know m scared to look you in d eye,

Because my broad chest couldn't stand the fire, That burns thru,‎
The desire, am scared of being accustomed to, ‎
Wondering how, because you wandering around in my mind has become a custom too, ‎
And if i migrate illegally into your heart, will i get arrested by the customs too,
And get kicked back to that junction where i became friends with you,‎
Sometimes i wonder, do you feel the same way I do?

When you hear my name, Does it twitch your brain,‎
When you see a girl around me, do you go in rage,‎
Do you laugh�, like a ****** when you read my text,
or smile like a fool, when you're alone in the room, going through your phone reading our messages.
How do you feel if you don't see me a day, ‎
Also do you hold on to your phone � 
if my promised call was delayed??‎
And hope every text or calls you received comes from me, ‎
Did you ever wish i'll b d one to buy you that diamond ring �, ‎
Few Years later. We hold hands and sing lullaby for our kids,‎
When you look me in d eye, do i send a chill through your spine,?

Wait let me explain, while staring at you, i see these spark in your eyes,
Or did that only happen in my brain‎, No maybe it was my mind,‎
But I am always willing to sit and talk to you every minute I get,‎
Let the night come, while we watch the stars, if i see one shooting,  i'll be quick to make a wish,  that the night never ends, ‎
Or request for hours longer than 24 so we can have more time to spend,

Hold hands and gist about our future,
Swears my heart is in love,‎
But my brains asking me questions, are you sure??
What if, she wants to lure,
You in, take waht she wants n leave you num‎b‎,

Like she injected paralysis in your soul, ‎
You feel dejected, because your missing rib just broke your bone,‎
Oh,  m confused , my thoughts just profuse, ‎
What if she's not in love n don't feel what i feel?‎
Or probably she's lost in lust of my biceps and physique,‎
What if all she wants is just a taste of my ****?‎
So  scared babe,  permit me if i cause any delay to ask you out.‎
Am just afraid you might say, lets just b friends i don't want your feelings bro. ‎
And then you'll walk me back to that FRIEND ZONE i tried to escape, so please tell me how do i cope??‎
#disoriented #confused #demented #unclear #hazzy #foggy #bewildered
Don't let us fight anymore,
no,my best friend;agree for once:
because together we can defeat.
turn faces, and leave a never ending
trail of broken hearts in our tracks?
Our friendship will overpower,
so never fear, because I am hear,
I can fix that broken spot,
what is hurt will be mended,
because I am hear for you to trust
when evrything is tough
I am hear Im going through it
when times flys by and takes its toll.
when you ask: when? or what is?
oh, when you find him, yes that special one
I will comfort your insecurites,
beccause, LOVE!
you are pretty, you are buetiful
if you need a helping hand I'll be there,
so lets forget and forgive,
let it all fall in place,
because if life is a puzzle ill fit next to you,
becuase when the going gets tough,
you need a friend to keep you going
and to eat icecream with


from your dear friend
ive been fighting with one of my best friends i wrote this poem as a note for her
Lorraine day  Nov 2013
Self harm
Lorraine day Nov 2013
Affliction her addiction
Her thoughts held no restriction

She stumbled through her life blind
Leaving all who loved
Behind

No more harm
No more pain
Will never hear her voice again

The blade she sought as her best freind

Took her life in the end ........
In memory of my friend who lived in an isolated world of self destruction if only she could have seen herself like I saw her- loved herself as I loved her     /. Realising her talent creativity and beauty/.  If only.
Dennis Scherle  Jan 2014
emotion
Dennis Scherle Jan 2014
u want more emotion, maybe im just tourchered to the point im just going through the motions praying out there i find a potion to let me relax, maybe stop the wise cracks about how im fat or how minimal the cash is i stack. or maybe the fact when i cut open my vain i just see black no crimson blood just black oozing from the cracks as if my tanned skin is a stone statue starting to crumble under the weight of self loathing. the fact of deep down id rather be a better person but it bugs me i cant afford the fancy clothing, even in our society how we hype up to the idea then it comes to play and no one seems to stay like whatever happened to kony we live amungst phoneys saying their better only to better their pride and maybe to impress a futer bride collecting money only green in there eyes envious of those that accumulate wealth but seem to be blind to those who have nothing pushin it off to someone who has more to give now tell me again wat gives u a greater right to live over the young women even children forced into *** but u need to spend ur check on a fancy rolex because ur life is complex now im not saying im better though i have been gifted with my life but in my heart i still cry everynight because were on borrowed time ive seen people distroy themselves in hate a freind in grade 9 became addicted to******* now shooting ****** in his vein his leather jacked stained skin n bones calling on the phone for his next fix my mom with her slit wrists pretending i dont exist  now is that enough emotion for u after all im still just a kid.
AnolikeAkau Jul 2015
I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend from the start. I should have put down the phone and put in the effort to talk to you. I'm sorry you took me to another state for two weeks and it didn't seem like I was paying any attention to you. I did pay attention to you but when I did you were upset with me. I'm sorry that I was so scared of losing her that I nearly lost you. I'm sorry that while I was there it didn't seem like I was having fun because I was on the phone all the time. I really did enjoy being there with you and I'm very happy I got to spend your 18th birthday with. I guess  I just wanna say sorry because I let a relationship get in the way of our friendship and I know it was wrong. Most of all I'm sorry that I'm too scared to apologize to you and that I wrote it here instead.
And now
Thank you, thank you for giving me experiences and adventure that I can't have on the island I grew up on. Thank you for being one if my best friends throughout the years we've known each other and putting up with my crap. Thank you for understanding that this other person made me happier than I have been since you've known me. Thank you for being there to comfort me when all I did was cry because I couldn't figure out which boy I had a crush on and thank you for doing it again when the boy I had a crush on couldn't go to prom with me. Thank you for giving me more than one second chance to prove to you that I wanted to stay in your life.
I'm such a coward
Johnny Zhivago Jun 2013
Alarm at 9:30, wake up at 8:30, stretch in bed, go downstairs to kitchen, make omelette, give a quater to a freind, eat the rest, alarm goes off, cycle in to uni, shuffle the word order of an essay, print it, muck around, go to the bar, glance at a man giggling to himself, smoke a dovetail, go back in, slice an orange, eat it then, go through, the print out, crossing ****, out, Daniel walks up, hey hows it going, fast talking scurry walking you know what i mean man, he starts up, ive heard this one before... i havent drunk for 3 years, now i just smoke ****, cos i always smoke it,  got a girlfriend? I had a girlfriend, she was my best friend, then she went crazy though, made me insany, i said to her listen:
im thirty its simple you with me or no?
You stay or you go? Is that simple or no?
This was a while ago, she said i dunno, i felt mad as mud, and i came to the bar, just human beings, and there was my girl, with a korean! I smiled in surprise, he switched up the convo, you had a girl, well did you like her?
I stopped him right there, im going for a ****, dont mean to diss,
ok he said bye,
and walked through the door,
of him we'll say no more.
I got to the ******, a sense of achievement, sense of a glorified victory for me, i fumbled my fly, which was hooked with a paperclip, which was bent round the button, to stop from fly diving, and as this was happening my eyesight went whitey i tingled my fingers, i staggered aboutey, my foots were a-wobbling inside of my shoe, my knees were a-jiving to knee-jiggler tune, i flopped on my bag on the back of my back, twitched and i break-danced until my foot tore loose, and suddenly a boot, an invisible boot, and invisible foot, and invisible man, kicked me my jaw, and back snapped my neck, left me there sprawled. cripped by pain, blinded by white, starved of control, but over at last, i hobbled back out, morosely sat down, high brows of eyes, did you goosey gander, oh my Amanda, he looked like a mortal
when he went in
but then he came out
limping with sin
that boy was me, i met with a girl, and cycled back home, certain my tendons, were torn off the bone, i told her i fainted in the toilet and fought with an invisible man, she said can you be normal for once and tell me wagwan, why were you painting the toilet, and who was the man, i told her again that i fainted not painted, and she looked confused. i lost my essay, and im wearing glasses and your saying nothing, except nonsense and nothing, i told her id noticed her glasses but had seen no essay, as she let me go she kissed me but i asked for a hug, a hugs more important if youre stuck in the mud, i went to my house and told all my flatfriends the truth, why my foot hurts and my disturbance of duelling that man, they acted surprised and then went to bed, i made i some tea, and then spent the rest of the night smoking down my confusion.
Healing gently but still some weak patches


it rained then shone then hailed then snowed
and she'd forgot her coat
and it poured on her throat
later passed the day
and we cycled back northways
carlights lamps and moon hit your face
smiling with your long as a boot-face
hail-bones sparkly white as toothpaste
england is a sock and we live in a bootlace

her 'guy' lived with her
so she came round early arva-,
i accidentally injected her
with a deadly kind of larvae.
she went to a farmer-cist
to get an antidote,
a little white little pea that
went floating down her throat.
merrily merrily merrily merrily,
right under the belly
it knocked the nest out from the tree
and stamp the eggs to jelly

mama pigeon was away
magpie made jelly-egg
stampy stampy crush crush
heavy evil mag-leg
Robyn Dec 2013
Reasons Why You're The Best and I Love You
1. You introduced me to Streetlight, Be Your Own Pet, Squirrel Nut Zippers and dozens of others
2. You checked me out so hard you ran into a car
3. You brought Chisomo into my life. He stole my heart.
4. Introducing me to Jim and Timmy. They're knuckleheads and I love em.
5. Accepting my guitar player fetish and yet still limited knowledge of guitars
6. You're a guitar player
7. Your hoodies. They make you so warm and cuddly and I love stealing em
8. Your smell. That probably sounds creepy but you always smell sooooooo awesome and it's one many things about that just makes me feel better
9. Your dorky little smile. It's just a little crooked but it's huge and adorable. Everytime I kiss you, it shows up on your face and you look a little dazed and intoxicated
10. You're so smart. It's ******* awesome
11. You love Thai food, and it's silly but it makes me happy, cause it's my favorite food
12. Always being so happy. I mean, I know you get sad sometimes but I'm almost always sad, so your optimism is kinda . . . really nice.
13. Dupont Teflon
14. Being freinds with Lexi. She's my best freind and you're my other half so I really need you two to get along
15. Loving 80's movies and chick flicks
16. That little thing you do with your eyes, where you'll look at me and they'll get really wide and then get smaller again
17. I love your handwriting, it's silly, sue me
18. For buying me a copy of Looking for Alaska just cause you knew I was 132nd on the list for it at the library
19. Loving me even though I'm an "I love you" ****
20. Liking when I act like an idiot
21. Being an idiot with me
22 Waiting months to become my boyfriend and sticking with it when no one else did
23. Introducing me to Rocky Horror
24. Understanding my introverted-ness
25. Accepting my struggle with depression
26. Writing me a beautiful poem and kissing me in Jenning's Park
27. Considering a real future with me
28. Those times when you kiss my forehead, or my cheeks, or my nose or my hand. I LOVE every single one
29. Sending me pictures because they make me so freakin happy
30. Coming to my concert and sitting through your least favorite genres of music just to see me
31. Encouraging me to write
32. Not judging me too harshly beause I used to make really bad decisions
33. You **** at video games just as much as I do
34. Nerd Ropes
35. For kissing me when I was sick even though you knew you would and did get sick too
36. Wanting to make me happy and not understand that you already and always do
37. Trying really really hard to like Doctor Who, just for me
38. Loving to read just as much as I do
39. Wanting to help me sleep because you know I hardly can
40. Holding my face or head when you kiss me
41. Telling me you love me everyday
42. Loving me at all
43. Waiting **** patiently while I slowly add more things to this list, because there will be many, many more
Dj  Oct 2018
No Real Fairy Tales
Dj Oct 2018
although the years have now come and gone,
one thing i have never ceased to stumble apon,
was the extent to your personality; a touch of savage with
a heavenly grace,
while most boys would stop at the simple beauty of your face.

i may have choose wrong to attempt to stay away,
but ive always admired you beyond great dismay,
although my last hope of love with you may have far past expired,
with these drugs my broken heart and soul may be rewired,

but as long you may remain happy,
i must avoid all chance of getting sappy,
and every day that my mind may pass my own self regret,
for the lack of my actions in being a clueless boy; my mind shall
be forced to accept the unspeakable debt,

time after time it appeared to be only you reaching out your hand,
to your power i could not make words i found it hard too so much as stand,

and perhaps one day, i will once again, find the willpower to live,
thats so far lost; i may as well be a inmate ;in for life and bleeding out stuck with a shiv,

but then and only then my fire may reignite
finally past this existence, maybe even a delight

but until then ill keep up my smile,
cause i know apon a moments gaze; we both know its been awhile,

but can you really blame me; for years straight
after i only wanted our unhealthy love to wait

you treated me like i was nothing not even real, every time i tried ; or at least thats how you made it feel,
up until you decided to date my best friend now your both over there...

until i regain my emotional strength i may disassociate n pretend to not so much as care.
and i refuse to even acknowledge your attempt to openly declare,
about my lack of presence unaware,
that my dreams of you have  just been those mistaken but of nightmares,

from the image of forever chasing you down the halls,
as all im left with is a false fading sense of hope ;awhile i move on to success and building up my protective walls,

even though i knew my chase would never come to a fair end,
but given all my assets; im still mainly heartbroken that once apon a time i lost such an amazing best freind....

— The End —