you gave me peonies
freshly picked from the curb at the bus stop
the very first time we talked and you asked if we could be friends
and i was smiling the whole time, said "sure"
we met up in the middle of the night when i couldn't sleep,
we texted each other two hours prior
you gave me daisies from the beds planted on somebody's front lawn (which i later found out was your home);
now i admit they're my favorite from all the flower you've ever given me
even though i always teased you when you did (but of course they're all deeply appreciated)
when you confessed the feelings you've manifested for me,
and asked if i see 'us' going anywhere
i smiled and whispered in your ear "we can go anywhere we want to"
and since then you sent me more,
days with no occasion turned significant
dahlias, morning glories, jasmines, hyacinths (sometimes id surprise you as well)
lilies, chrysanthemums, tulips;
i kept them all and i reminisce all the jokes we made
about starting a business from our garden
we were lying upon rows and rows of daffodil in the middle of a starry night
hands intertwined,hearts inclined
amidst the thorns and the wilted flowers you said,
i made flowers bloom in your lungs and you picked and gave them to me; you said you wanted to spread the effervescence tickling your senses from the field in your mind everytime you thought of me (let the petals be the symbol of our love, you said)
you were my flowerboy
and now,
my soil coated nail beds bury these seedlings surrounding your grave
i threw all the flowers you gave me
dandelions, gerberas, roses, marigolds,gardenias ,baby's breaths,magnolias;
now they sleep in the ground in your eternal slumber
love im sorry
that all the flowers i planted in your lungs wilted,
the cause of your annihilation
sorry i couldn't keep them alive
sorry i couldn't keep you alive
but i know,
you'll watch over our sunflowers
and one day,
we'll be reunited and we'll be frolicking in a field of yellow
hello im back from a hiatus and i hope it's for good this time. i 'l l t r y