may the way that gives way to this accord of may be in awe of truth and not the fruits of disarray

I shall be meditating upon the roads travelled and many discoveries gather that I have unravelled

I shall curl my high excitements and misguided ambitions to unfurl what the calls of the wise unfurl and admonish

In the mist amidst the tricking twists of fits and false gists, may I hold up fists that will seize to desist and delete the disease of fallacy in curtailed wit

In the shadows dark, some pale
may I not fade into the tales of lies and manipulative games

In the guise of dames so modern and fabulously inclined to fame,
may I guage and carry my animosity into the mystery of my identity where only the genuine and real can relate

In the encounters with material and all that deters from the mystic and ethereal,
I hope to remember the real surreal to surmise the reels of fantasy thrills in graphic frills and euphonic trills

However the gigantic systems of the world in money, greed, vanity or lust, may doctor sickness into the souls of the lost and weak:
may my heart remain meek and my vision bright and led by the lens of the soul....

With or without I pray not as a religious pilgrim but a sage seeking neverending Light... ever the more grateful, harnessing the grapes of creation, worshiping a servant's code in humility.

hustling about this rash hassle of life overshadowed by pyramids and castles
remaining true to the cause even when temptation is endlessly bustling about
remember remember the hustle when you were down and out without

If your silky lavender eyes choose not to meet mine
That’s fine.
Fantasies live and then die.
But for you, I'll try.

A man whose eyes hold only yours,
Sweet, lavender gazing privately,
Other sight blinded by joviality.

Uncontrollable emotion,
A shotgun blast from dad,
Deters no serious man.

A princess,
A jewel,
An emerald,
A girl.

Not an object,
But a privilege.

A man not centered on ***,
Relationship not just in the bed,

Kisses on tangerine cheeks,
Through rain,
Foretelling lifelong love.

Soft skin swims,
I touch with permission,
We laugh and love,
None other.

Flawless beauty,
Like diamond,
Like velvet,
A wonderful image.
Thus you.

At the back of my mind,
there are many thoughts,
There's always that one voice,
The voice convinced me of things,
If not all the time, it will be some of the time.
I never thought it could harm anyone,
In particular, I never thought it could,
But I underestimated the small voice,
I misunderstood its determination.
It takes control of me, feeding me,
With thoughts that hinders me from living,
Deters me from my path,
Bind me from reality.
I give in to it a couple of time,
My weak self can't seem to win over it,
Their determination overthrow my rationality,
Controls my life and action.
It tells me I'm not good enough, it tells me,
I'm not worth it, it tells me things that hurts.
It retreats sometime, and when it does,  I get so happy.
I could be happy with no second thoughts,  I can respond.
I can smile, I can laugh.  
It felt liberating to do so.
It felt as if everything are perfect;  my life is perfect.
It made me forget.
But then,  it didn't want me to forget.
The chain that held them captive wasn't strong enough,
So they broke free, they resurfaces.
"I'm back" it claims.

- ponder

~ You strange ****
You ****** ****
You‘re something else, you
You might not be well

The self-preaching
Was getting old
Even when it was new
They all knew

There is something
Wrong about your English
Something makes them wonder
If you‘re really all in there

When one said you were trash
You thought the cynics would
Make everything better
It never did last
~
Scary girl with big buns
On her shrunken head
Thinks you better quiet
And only listen instead
~
The dwarfs cursed you
To the ******* ground
You slime, you puke
They burn and bury
You to the very ground

Those kisses were curses
You stupid slime, you
The guardian never watched
Over you to stop the blackness
Which crept unto you

Now you‘re some tainted ****
And they all know you‘re untrue
And they drool acid on you
~
When the brain deters
From all that filth in your mind
You‘ll realize the bacteria
Will make you go blind
And as you sink in the water
You've once walked on
Your stupid ****** up fans
Will all be gone

Instinct becomes arbitrary when my willpower deters my integrity
Aspirations are mere illusion when my intuition exceeds my ailing grasp

A ******* creep of disintegrating fantasies releases
a
sense
of realism.

Nicotine surfs my limbs
as thoughts align with tectonic disasters.

Malice masks insinuating balance,
An inevitable roar of discontent prefaces
A cruising tune of initiated indifference
yet hope

On the harsh, cold pavement did the failing princess lie flat
On the verge of her kingdom falling her hindsight was to ****
On the throne of Callula did Zargon cast his usurp ruthlessly
On his account had darkness plagued the country mercilessly
On her struggling breath did Serena lament her distrust for him
On past occasions was Zargon her advisor until came his dim
On the land of Callula was Serena banished from without hope
On the filthy floor in a deserted castle could be her last interlope


Callula is a land once prosperous with green, blue, and light in awe
Now it has become the domain of evil under Zargon's dark claw
All about the once-coloured land has turned to barren grey
Ash and dust have given priority to the recurring death day
The living will starve and the dead will re-establish the nation
That is unless the prophesied hero will rise to combat this damnation
But the whereabouts of such one is a mystery for there is little left
By rarity will the saviour appear for monsters occupy all of the heft


Sick with fatigue does Serena crawl for justice in the pale moonlight
Behind the rotten castle walls must she find the means for the right
How unfortunate is the abandoned place giving her little chance
To the death will she fight to save her kingdom from the evil stance
She drags her tranced self across the filthy tiles tearing her dress
An outdoor domain of rotting torture devices is a fearful mess
Weary from hiding and travelling gives Serena her mental wane
It is at this point of despair and her people dying she tears in pain


Callula's kind citizens who lived in peace are now infected with ill
Abundance was food and water but vanished into a land of chill
Zargon is the Lord of the Dark Regime and the Bringer of Shadow
His royal relations charitably bestowed upon him the greedy glow
All must bow before this usurper king or will face the eternal suffer
Resistance may be noble but will fall under the darkness smother
When Zargon attained kinghood he gave Serena her ****** exile
Beauty has bled from the devil's blade and now walks pain's mile


In a pool of her own blood does Serena now crawl ever so slow
Her rain of tears express an outcry of help in a mood of sorrow
All alone in the cold rainy weather does she fret in the torture room
Bloodied, torn, and weak she now is similar to Callula's gloom
What seemed to be her acceptance to the heavens comes a surprise halt
An unexpected warrior deters a death that was Zargon's demonic fault
Now healed and restored, Serena thanks the man with genuine love
An intimate kiss and hug under the dark sky gives her tears of the dove


Inside the darkness of the empty castle lies the secret to end evil's tide
Holding closely do the recovering princess and wily man ride
Quietly traversing the dark tunnels must they avoid waking any doom
Deep within the ancient world lies things more deadly than any boom
Serena's hope is kept alive by her love for the hero's act of saving a life
A life worth saving for she suits the throne sharper than any knife
The Kindle Sword, designed to break curses, has finally been found
Now Zargon's immortality will die for the weapon shall astound


For the land and people of Callula do the two make their royal march
Into the darkened Callula Tower shall justice they deliver to the enemy
All monsters flee in fear of the Kindle Sword that shines without mercy
The heavens' light spark in the midst of the underworld's darkness
A sign that the mighty inferno will soon perish by the incoming water
Scaling the once delicate now dreaded keep is the final step
What follows is the war between the forces of good and evil
Serena and the hero shall make their last stand against Zargon


The two valiant Callulians braved their way up through Zargon's tower
Defeating every loyal servant of the Lord of the Dark Regime's power
Upward are the stairs to the underworld as the music louder it ascends
Behind the large door of the throne lies the chance to make amends
Breathing in fear but motivated by courage do the good enter the way
Armed with the Kindle Sword and determination will create this fray
Inside the throne room do Serena and the hero meet Zargon head on
Following a sadistic grin does he arrogantly engage the battle head on


Both sides exchange turns of blows as the war rages the room apart
Walls and pillars of stone become rubble from the anger of all heart
Blades clash, energy blasted, and blood spilled for Callula's domain
Zargon stood strong but Serena and the hero soon had the upper gain
His arrogance became his downfall when stabbed by the hero's blade
The Kindle Sword's light smiting evil with all justice from it is made
Zargon collapses in a state of disbelief before his untimely death
Serena and the hero couldn't rejoice though as the building just breathed its last breath...


The last resort for Zargon was to crush Serena and the hero in the ruins
Callula Tower began to destruct as stone fell from the force of bruins
Luckily the two courageous souls escaped the oncoming collapse
Serena's future hope is to not grant evil royal power for fear of relapse
Just as the brave princess and the hero could rejoice, there was a boom
Abrupt was the immediate silence then the unexpected came to bloom...


EXPLODING FROM THE RUBBLE WAS THE ENRAGED ZARGON
INTOLERANT OF A HUMILIATING DEFEAT HIS EYES GLEW RED
THE EARTH TREMBLED AS THE HORROR LOUDLY AWAKENED;
ZARGON SLOWLY TURNED INTO A  BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST
TOWERING AND VIOLENT, THERE WAS ONLY ONE PURPOSE:
THIS INCARNATION OF ZARGON'S HATE WILL **** THEM ALL


THE LAST STAND BECAME TRUE AS THE HERO WAS KILLED
DEATH BY THE MONSTROUS ZARGON BECAME HIS FUNERAL
SERENA WEPT AND WAS ABOUT TO FLEE WHEN SHE TURNED
HER TEARS WERE NOT OF GRIEF BUT OF COURAGEOUS ANGER
SHE TOOK THE KINDLE SWORD AND FOUGHT ZARGON
TO SEEMINGLY NO END WOULD THE CEASELESS BATTLE RAGE
THE MONSTER FINALLY MET ITS FATAL DEFEAT BY THE SWORD
SEVERAL SLASHES FOLLOWED BY DECAPITATION SOLVED ALL


The Bringer of Shadow, with his fate sealed, the dark land also sealed
The green grass, blue water, and bright light returned to land their heal
The citizens relieved of the dystopian terror with the heavenly reign
Serena the princess now honours her slain royal family without the pain
As for the fallen hero, she honours her comrade with an elegant funeral
Callula is now saved and blessed with qualities beyond any numeral
The hopeless land now restored to the hopeful land, Serena shall rest
All the while she looked in retrospect that her tears were the cause for the best

My way will be found...
To these "warm waters"
and abundant agave among
a lingering, gentle devil
more potent than that austere burn.

It's the gaze you give me,
though gated by hissing apertures, screens, & skype,
that deters my sensibility. For this unconventionality is certanly fathomed.
Believe me

But it's the glittering glances, shot offscreen in blushful bantering
that
shocks my compass not due south

but to wherever you are.

Look at her.
See her little cracks?
The ones that line her arms,
The ones on her back.
Her porcelain face,
With the saddest of eyes,
Where the missing pieces are,
She fills them as she cries.
The tears that fall,
She catches in a pail,
Putting them in her cracks,
Thinking she's failed.
One day a little porcelain boy found her,
Crying all alone,
Without any shelter,
So he picks up his phone,
And then he shatters himself.
As the pieces fall she crawls over to him,
He picks up his pieces and finds the ones to fill her cracks,
He aligns them all,
Each one filling her back.
But after he's finished,
She leaves him there,
With every little crack,
His body so bare.
He sits there alone,
Thinking about that little porcelain girl,
The one who he cared for,
The one who made his heart twirl.
One day she passes him,
In the same spot as where he healed her,
She gives him a small smile,
And then deters.
The little boy cries there,
All alone and silent,
Now knowing about,
How love can be so violent.

Life is beautiful
Life can be beautiful
An easy mix up of words
that can lead to confusion to the mind
When you don’t know the type of waters you are testing
“IS” is a mere perception
“CAN BE” makes room for decision
“It is head”
versus
“It can be heads”
Because it leaves room to be “tails”
Food for thought
We paint a picture in our minds on
how we “ought” to be
Time is endless
But we have this idea that we are wasting time
Then wait!
What time are you running by?
Is it the time of your life?
Because any split second your death is unknown
and all human beings know with life comes death and that is our destiny that we cannot run away from
but to live in adventure
But the adventure is crushed by the story-teller of your life
Story tellers tells you to believe in a religion, that God does not like ugly, that women should obey their spouse, that people should procreate, marry and eliminate all human beings who does not meet qualifications or expectations of the story-teller
The story-teller also insist on telling you that you have to go to college, make a living, make status, make money, buy a house and make kids to do it all over again. You must live your life based on these certain structures because this is what it is and shall be
The story-teller is merely one perspective
and it is their own perception of their life’s book
How can it fit for every single human being?
Life is beautiful
Life can be beautiful
Is the same unasked question of life
“Life is beautiful“–deters the idea of being anything more but just beautiful
There is no ifs, buts, should, could, would, or nots than what it just is
There is no room left for a decision because the decision is already made
Without the interference of others thinking another
Life is anything you perceive it to be
That’s why “Life can be beautiful”
Because it articulates what the mind faces to overcome
everyday of our lives
We bring our experiences, circumstances, ideas, creativity, talent, and etc
to draw conclusions or shape one’s own views
Whether life is good or can be good is determined by your perception and experiences
It is determined by whether you packed up your good and bad experiences to shape your overall thought
and leads you to react in a certain way depending on a situation.
My Voice of Wisdom & Knowledge:
Life is beautiful to me
I do not believe it is anymore than beautiful because I don’t want to open any cans of possibilities for it NOT being “beautiful.”
The “can be” allows room for it to be full of other possibilities other than beautiful.
When I say it is, it is PERIOD
This is my truth!
Life can be so easy as having great conversation, mental stimulation, ***, more ***, fun, love, and adventures in nature.
Conversations are meant to spark thought
I don’t think it is there to offend or make people uncomfortable unless that uncomfortable person feels “a way”–then it is merely their own issue
Those who do not converse on certain matters is COOL too because they still can actively listen to the conversation and make their own input in their minds
Everything in life CAN BE peaceful and loving
But we get so caught up with our own view and perception
that it doesn’t make room for DIFFERENT angles
I WANT TO BE ONE WITH ALL
Because we all are unique snowflakes
Every unique snowflakes have one thing in common, which is
Being a SNOWFLAKE
coming from one source
People are nothing more than eye level to me
Nothing more, nothing less
No superior and no inferior
Peace, harmony, love, happiness, and enlightenment
We think we know but we are far from knowing
This is all the beginning
We need to put all the pieces together and work the mind, body and spirit
by connecting BACK to SELF
SELF centers YOU
SELF helps YOU understand others
SELF has many offerings
SELF is what it is
And those in the exterior looking at YOU can appreciate or hate YOU
because they view themselves as such!
Life is beautiful is my decision
YOU can continue to decide whether Life CAN BE beautiful.

Skin hot to the touch paired with your fiery temper always singes those around. Like a fire you can only blaze higher.

Aloof and cold you never express the workings of your mind. Preferring to freeze me out and give the cold shoulder until I'm begging to be burned by your touch again.

Your so mixed up being hot and cold at the same time. The warmth of your body excites me the frosty voice deters me. Its like winter in summer dealing with you.

I never understood how you can be so warm and cold at the same time and like a fool I get burned over and over again.

Even if you soothe the burn I'll freeze and shatter sooner than later.

Your so hot and cold, a real paradox you know? If only you knew how confusing you really are.

I used to believe that we couldn't get any closer
than a doctor - patient relationship
Cause everytime you'd come to me
you'd always ask for a diagnosis

I'd ask for your symptoms, check your pulse
your temperature, even your recent meals
then you'd tell me about your recent pains
your heartaches, cramps, and muscle strains

Little did you know than I wanted more
than stories about sicknesses that deters you
Like your favorite color, favorite fruit
favorite band... stories you never told me

I hoped to be more than just your doctor
a person that just cares for your well being
I care more than the sicknesses that bother you

I wish you could trust me more