late nights and homesick hearts never make for a quiet soul
excessive coffees and quilted secrets make the heart beat fast,
palpitating, jumping, murmuring hyperbolic hopes

late nights and homesick hearts can only be softened
when one's soul is at peace,
hopeful,
restful,
joyful.

My avid gaze
spoke to the rosary
of your flesh

My heartsick tremors
marked me as a wanted man
and burned the villages
of my ancestors

I was a refugee
from time
a friend to no man

My tears washed the blood
from my hands
my eyes withered
the tender bud

So when did I read poetry
on your lips?

Did your mountains fracture
and disintegrate into
sparkling shards
as mine did?

Was the moon an egg
in your basket
as it was in mine?

Little do we know
of the other
when first we clasp hands
and agree

In time
and with luck
we learn.

heartsick.

heartsick because i want those brown eyes
only ever to look at me
that huge smile
only ever to be mine
i want your lips and your arms and your chest
with me
around me
laughing and holding and exclaiming.

you make me
heartsick
in the most thrilling
gut-wrenching
tension-inducing manner

those other boys?
lust.

you?

heaven.

Let not my eyes close for truly resting;
I shall not sleep until I return home.
Until I am aware of your presence
Before me, then I shall cease to exist.

In future, come clarity upon me,
That it may give me the strength to go on
With life and hope, as I wander, endless,
Until the day I shall return to love.

Though my insides quake with fearful hoping,
I shall not falter, for you lie waiting.
True to my word I’ll remain undying
And honest, until the day our eyes meet.

A lips’ sweetest kiss doth long awaits me,
A promise to never part as we have.

"Retrieve a Lover" Spell

If you long for the return of a lost lover... if you are heartsick and lonely and despondent... there is something you can do about it!

A Master Psychic who specializes in reuniting people will cast a spell for you. Within days, you'll have a renewed sense of hope, a strong feeling that the person you so deeply and desperately love is on the road back to you.

Your heart will tell you that a life-changing experience has occurred!! Soon, this person could wake up and realize the love and friendship and happiness you have to offer... and he or she could want to be with you forever.

The seeds will be planted to break the barriers of stubbornness, of bitterness, of blindness--and replace them with feelings of warmth and love for you.

If you truly care for this person and are willing to do anything necessary for their return, we urge you to have a "Retrieve a Lover" spell cast on your behalf.

This is your opportunity. Simply write your request to retrieve a Lover.
Call: +27 738 252 477
Email: molekosula@gmail.com
http://nativehealer.blogspot.com/

i think about all the lessons i have been taught. i take them to heart.

i think about how even when you want to urge "drop dead", the moment they tell you they would cut their throat if you didn't love them, the words burn up in your mouth. i love you will not roll off the tongue as easily. when i find myself throwing away everyone who excels in ways you never could.

when someone invites me to walk besides them without words, when a stranger is just inches in front of my footsteps. crossing the street, passing them, being anywhere other than behind. how i can never walk besides someone in case they pretend like you did.

when friendship was about grabbing a fist to pull your muddied self off the ground, when the hand that feeds you is the same to slap you. how you say you're sorry and when i say it doesn't matter, it means more than one thing.

what happens to me when i don't speak my mind. what happens to me when i do.

putting a name to the workings of my heart
a funnily familiar word. it comes to me, where i've heard it before, that time i heard you spit it out when i was walking home.
somehow it still doesn't come as easily as it did for you

looking at the mirror
wondering who in their right mind would, if your sick self hadn't wanted to.
and what a pity for you that you coaxed me out of my shell but not quite these intimates.
i wonder how i was too young to know better, and too old not to by anyone else's standards

i don't patch myself up as much as i do try and build over, hibernate for winter in a coffin i picked out myself.

do you think that if i had my hands in your chest like yours had mine, i'd finally be enough to make your stomach turn?