Screaming internally; sitting in silence.
Make these feelings wash away without a word spoken.

Articulating perceptions while throwing water on burning oil.
Flames and rainbows blend until the fuel is exhuasted.

I am exhausted.

A surge of adrenaline shoots through me
I push harder, using the newfound strength!
I'm going further than ever before and it all seems so easy
it's practically effortless!

I feel my foot connect with the floor as i set in motion
a great movement
throwing me forward with yet another boost!
I've never felt so alive. I'm invincible!
I don't hunger for anything, aside from more power!
Who said that there's a bad side to this!


Suddenly a connection is made, my senses have caught me
full force the neurotransmitters surge with a rush of information!
You're tired now. You're exhuasted now. You're. Human. Now.


Lethargy, deadening my senses.
All the power, all the energy escapes
as if the floodgates have opened
I feel the mortal weakness, I feel like a human again.

I pushed too hard, I felt it, the rush
It was too good and I went over my own limits
I have to feel it again! that rush!
And so another magic little moment enters my mouth
promising me another rush, another shot at immortality.
I'll never see the down coming.

Pills' partys  the last seven years washed unclean.
Streets  now empty past there prime and looking
to score.
Ive lived till the edge is dull.
I sit knowing theres nothing more.

Are we as ****** up as are parents befor?
The answers passed down are but secondhand
mistakes.

As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad.
My eyes blind yet still able to see.
My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape.
Hope is but  sweet dellusion not ment for me.

When the flame is gone darkness signals the change.
fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul.
To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage.

No life  is a end at its false start.
A chord lost in time.
shadows I chase to there darkest end.

Laughter  hides the so clearly seen.
Hate take's my passion as time take's my
story the final verse to share with none.

Im the ******* of a stranger I know well.
He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release.
Dying in seconds  counting hours.

Killing the drug  strangles my air.
A painter never shows his thoughts.
Just covers his canvas.

Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure.
As in days I will embrace the emptyness
you no longer  control.

Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes.
The time 5:oo am  strangers will take the story
rewrite my past.

Lie's  are a freedom I no longer need.
Goobye's a return's promise.
I can no longer say.

Im exhuasted  yet I know its best to fill
the page.
But that southern breeze will  now be my home.

In sunsets i hope you see what never was.
Charm of a maniac  the sense of a legend to never be.
Darkness I wish i had shared tears  are the taste
of a talent  that never was me.

the glass is empty.

all i have now
are cold sheets
& a half empty bed
with half empty tea mugs
littering the floor
like land mines
surrounding my mattress
that now feels more like
a life raft
then anything els
a life raft that i jumped into
to espcape the war zone
that had now become my life
this matress
is the only thing keeping me
from drowning into my sadness
from falling into the madness

all i have now
are the cries of dogs
late at night
are the cries of my heart
late at night
like the saddest song
you've ever heard
because they don't understand
why the love was lost
how can you loose something
that was once everything
and they try to out cry one another
until they are both too exhuasted
to do anything but sleep

all i have now
are the the painful memories
and broken dreams
of everything we use to be
to remind me of how quickly we fell
how blindly we flew
and how badly we failed
all i have are songs
that i can never play again
because visions of you
will play in my head
and i'll need to drink enough liqour
too drown it all out
hand me that whiskey
i need to pass out
now how many times
will i take this foolish leap
before i finally get tired
of the blood on my teeth

fires all about
sky orange
not from flame
but refracted light from
smoke so thick
you can gather it
in your hand

the flames miles away
for us but for some
on their doorstep
devouring house

ash falls like snow
and sits in drifts
up against firetruck tires

men and women
volunteer warriors
return soot black
and exhuasted
to rest before
returning
to the front

devastation
of wildlife corridors
devastion of small towns
live's lost and broken

and it is still only spring

Your plow,
Lost deep,
In the warmth of my soil,
My bellows exhuasted now,
This day the final hope,
When,
Autumn leaves....