I knew it would not last forever
But the future was unseen
Watched it slip out of our grasp
Before we could intervene

Season after season is passing
Golden transforms to white
Misty mornings exchanged for snow
While I wait to feel alright

Rose up through the ashes
But my heart's still burned and charred
And fear has formed an armor around
Every place it has been scarred

I search for symbols on my body
Yearn for meaning to be revealed
To understand length of our relationship
Yet answers all remain concealed

Shoulder the weight of rejection
Through time though tough to carry
Heaviness a consistent warning
That of intimacy to be wary

Like a little alarm silently blaring
Begging me to stay alone
Prioritizing safety over company
Love is hell unlike anything I've ever known

Portal straight to madness
No one is exempt
So if you want your sanity intact
Don't bother making an attempt

Desire turns willpower to vapor
As you steadily lose control
Until you cannot function in their absence
Need their affection to even feel whole

But when the flashes of electricity
Vanish from your partner's skin
But for you are stronger than ever
That's when the real torture begins

Color disappears from sight
The whole planet fading to grey
Happiness drained from all you touch
As you desperately clutch onto yesterday

Now waking up is a daunting task
Try to avoid facing reality
Solitude stings like a salted wound
Haunted by what we will never be

Then I stumble across your photo
For a moment don't feel so sad
As nostalgia rushes over me
I escape briefly into the love we once had

I close my eyes and block out the hurt
Memory tasting bittersweet
And when I finally open them
Feels like I'm falling to my feet

Desolation has become my home
Misery my only friend
I've learned the hard way caring is pain
So I swear I'll never care again

1-DESIRE:                                             4-UNCARE:
All of me now desires,be deep            Distracted ideals,a nature human                                                        
Wholly Inside of you,Pervade             Heavenly woven synergies broken                                      
Your mind, limbs, Heart, all pores      Power of pleasures mortal, killing magic                              
Soak in your salty sweat warm           Snapping wands,bonds dearly formed  
Mold dancing to a one united.             Sweet temptress transient, conquering care.

2-PASSION:                                                ­       5- DISILLUSION:
Bodies’ lithe now twined serpentine         We betrayed, cheated US, in neglect,
Straining desperate, for a merger             Holes in hearts bleeding precious Love,
Spiritual, souls both for unison striving    Admitting indifference cruel, ruining stealthily
Hearts two pumping as one to fuse.          Our paradise gained, won so easy, lost terribly.
Sacred is everything, this carnality too.     Chanced eternity wasted, destiny unmeant made.

3-LOVE:                                                   ­              6- REALITY:
Ensconced tight in warmth’s mutual,           Tempered in time space, 3-LOVE loyal savior sole,  
All is for sacrifice on our loves altar,              Enshrined indestructible, in being, memories relived.
Suspended thoughts, egos burnt ash            Pleasures now cynically felt, loves truly responded,
A Love Mindless meditating deep,                No dilemma human; I flow generous, as an epitaph,
In some state mystically enlightened.            Thanking destiny for this reclaim, my love,faring well.

Senseless bubble erase the fears
Mundane life pulls at heartstrings taut
Carving ridges and trenches of pain
Back beaten concerns and worries
Never fully flush from my flesh
Excitement bursting and dissolving
Like acid into everyone's apathetic ears
Long limbs elaborating tales that could
Otherwise simply suspend with sentences
Splashes of distaste scald at my face
Burrowing deeply into my deep diseases
I'm thousands of degrees to cold eyes
Yet I burn within their icy glares of uncare
Every nerve twitches while others' tingle
Soft happiness blooms into blissful days
Torn by how I feel all too much yet am not enough

Islets of a many lets venting
cuts inside tented lightening
Of ghosts that rent with zest
Fading in and out as injusticed
On the path of lonely strokes
above the unseen finds and tides
The very many divergent corners
Of hearts painted with uncare
Rotten on acres of reality sink
above manners of the uncare
On field of an imagination trip
where I need to juggle young
Under the millions stars and starts
the change tracks and rotten traps
as the seconds on the clock ticks
as the steam rises above the reefs
Of an advent and beautific ripples

the prayers of ordinary people
far more comfort than the steeple

strangers in time and stores
make me grateful as before

my own prayer is simple silence
amidst my loneliness and worry

please keep me keepin' on
despite despair, uncare, and fury

                help and hope - hurry!