I loved a man named Alex once
was a kiteboard instructor in Hood River.
Things are sour now,
Real ******' bad.
But he makes an appearance every so often.
Met a man at the bar tonight
introduced himself as Alex,
strike one.
Said he was visiting from Hood River,
strike two.
Asked: "you windsurf?"
Said: "no, kite."
****.

Jagged little pill
cigarette
wannabe
days like these
smudge
your lipstick.
truth is-
don't like the ******.
like it hard,
hard I like.
Rough.
Big.
Men.
Make you eat it
don't mind
long as I can
top it
**** your life up
**** sandwich
put mustard all over
clover sprouts
salt- pepper
say you hate it
musta ****** up
whip cream queen
dazzle delight
raspberry rhubarb
jam
make me feel things
faster
****, ****
french fries at midnight
brown beers
falafel *****
dynasty drunks
swear you're the one
only one
jive to my beast
keep up my
*******
eat me out
for hours-

Love you.

Here I sit
in this big blue chair
where thousands have sat before.
stories of them
exist in graffiti marks
saying:
"*******"
"I'm so bored"
and perhaps
my favorite,
"I must not tell lies"

*******.
I think I'll always think that.
Even sitting in this big blue chair
I cannot escape you.
The words remind me of your constant presence
even though you're gone
you're still here.
Taking up space.
I could make my own imprint
and etch,
"*******, still"
but it wouldn't do justice.
That's only part of our story
and I don't want to confuse others
because at one time
I would have wrote:
"Love you, always."

I'm so bored
of the excuses
the should haves
could haves
but if you would have
I wouldn't have to listen
To your mind jabber
rolling off your tongue
unfiltered
prematurely being birthed
to spoken word.
I'll give you my two cents,
thoughts that are born
before they are developed
obliterate
and die
a tragic death;
escaping your fantasy.

I must not tell lies.
Fine.
scribble my truth-
permanently etch itself
into this big blue chair:

*******, still.
Love you,
Always.
Think before you speak.
I
wish I could get over

You.

I loved watching  
your body light up
the first time
you felt me up

The medal
against my *******,
sit in diagonals
painted silver
they've found the perfect home  
against my soft skin
and your perfect lips

I want you
to feel them,
admire my art
and know this is not
what everyone sees

They are
lessons I have learned
in ***  
and love
the more your fingertips
explore
you will learn my mistakes
and heartbreak

When your tongue travels,
you are tasting everything
I pour
into my art
and feeling
all of my humanness
you are seducing
all of my dreams
and living
in my fantasy

Give me
the touch
I crave
tie me up
in your arms
and wrap me
in your skin
kiss me
with all the colors
of fire
let me feel
your kinda love
and allow me
to give you mine.

I hear you
in the music
I see you
in designs
I smell you
in pints
I taste you
in *******
I feel you

everywhere I go.

I hear you
In all the funky jazz beats
I feel you
In the rhythm
Even when I'm dancing with other men
You never leave my side
Our bodies
Electrified
Our souls
Intertwined.
Got me mesmerized
All wrapped up
In your rap tunes
You know how they make me feel
Like I'm floating
On the *** vibes
Totally lost in our world
You understand
My art
My love
My ***
They're all the same thing, you know.

I see you
In passing
In stores
In movies
In products
In fine dining establishments
This is when I know
I know you
When I can see you in the designs
In clothing
In an artist's painting
In a pair of shoes
The colors and shapes in a tie
All the art I see
I see you.

I smell you
In spliffs
Rolled in the finest tobacco
Packed exquisitely by you
Late nights after ***  
You'd roll one up for us
I'd feel like a ******* queen
In your arms
But now
I smell you in the morning
When the coffee's being made
Never have I ever
Woken up by your side
Without the boldness of your coffee
Greeting me
With your love

I taste you
In every whiskey cocktail
In every bartenders ice cubes
In every microbrew
I taste you mostly in the IPA
But some nights I taste you in porters
And chocolate beers
Most of the time
Your flavor shows up
In the finest French restaurants
That we used to adore
I'd always have my red wine
And you the whiskey.

We were in love
With each other's art
And that's when I figured out
That's all life is, is
Sharing each other's love
Through art
***
And mystery
You are my love
My past
My present
And my future
Even when you are not in my present
Or my future
You will always be with me
I will always hear you
In the music
See you
In paintings
Smell you
In spliffs
Taste you
In whiskey
and love you
Like I've never loved before.