Now my clothes are stained with the memory's of the boys that took them off.

The ones that never bothered to learn my middle name.

And I never found out their favourite colour...

Now I'm going to have to have to get you out of my mind.
Simply breaking down every single line ,that was said.
I need to believe that every word was true.
That every word was said, because of you.

Its true, I crave you.
But I wont run after you.
I don't want to reminisce anymore about the good days, but only of the bad days.
That will convince me.
I will no longer give chances.
I will not sacrifice my life and time, and brains to a person who doesn't give a **** about me!
Even if you are super convincing.

So I rather suffer and choose to stay alone and die.
Listen to my own silent cries.
Have my solitary meals.
Drink my beers with my peers.

And get high all night.
Till the sun rise, because I am not broken down.
'

My anxiety is
the beast within me
living in my brain
using its claws to manipulate my neurons

Its black, furry face
fills with a wide, Grinchy smile
as it causes me to avoid yet another opportunity
that could help me recover

When I start to feel calm and hopeful
It snarls, spittle flying from its mouth
and bares its sharp teeth
determined to make me fail again

I can’t **** this beast
It is me and I am it
So I have to keep it alive
Involuntarily

"I love you" is what i said. But as soon as those words escaped my lips i wanted to eat them again. I wanted to re-consume that broken whisper of a sentence and never let it out again.

I got kissed goodnight
and felt butterflies in my stomach
for the first time since I lost you.

I was so happy that I danced
and I called my best friend
rejoicing over this small triumph.

But I might have cried wolf.