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 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
Untitled
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
You asked me to
describe the pain
I hold in my heart,
so I walked away
without looking
back.*


B.S.
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
......
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
Your
Last
I
Love
You
Sounded
More
Like
An
I'm
Sorry



                               B.S.
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
I knew we
weren't meant to be
when it hurt more
to tell you
I loved you
than to think about
what it would be like
if I lost you.*



B.S.
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
Knife
 Feb 2015 Sarah Blevins
B
You placed a knife
in my chest
and all I could do
was put on a
smile
to hide the pain
I was in,
but you
twisted
and
twisted
the knife until
I collapsed
because I couldn't
take it anymore.*


B.S.
My train of thought never ends
It goes on and on
It doesn’t stop for anyone, not even me
If you step in the way
It moves around
Knowing you’re doing it just to stop the pain
The sound of screams
Your happiness over mine
It will crush me before it thinks about you
As you see its my
Train of Thought
But the whistle has finally stopped
It has pushed me down,
Run around,
But never caught me until now
It has run me over,
The Pain Train has stopped;
its annoyance of me and the pessimistic dream
I am needy and codependent
And I forget how to love myself sometimes.
I am clumsy and gangly
And I trip easily.
I am easily angered and moody
And I snap over the smallest things.
I am jealous
And I need to be reminded I am the only girl you want.
I am flawed.
But I am growing.
And you will never find anyone who will love more than me.
I love with the entirety of my being.
I will always be there for you.
I will always be your Sun
And you will always be my Moon.
Help remind me to breathe
And to take every day as it comes.
Grow with me.
Become one with me like a forrest
Because baby I want to get lost in you.
You act so perfect
With your straight hair
and big round eyes
and skinny waist

You are so smart
and kind and gentle
and loving and you want
to work with children. Aww.

Everybody likes you,
no one can say anything bad
or they are just jealous
and spiteful.

Why do you get to be perfect?
Why can’t I be smart, and kind, and gentle
and loving and wants to work with children?
It’s because of you.

Anything I say, you have already said
Any joke I make is not as funny as yours
Any job I want to do, you have already claimed
I can’t think, can’t feel around you

I sit here, spiralling into dispair
looking at the Facebook status
supporting you, when I need it most
but, in comparison, I’m not you

One day, I will be perfect
and I will be more perfect than you
I will be smarter, and kinder, and more gentle
and more loving and be helping children more than you

And you can sit, spiralling
while Facebook is celebrating me
and has forgotten you
because you are not me

But this is a fantasy
and can never happen
because I will never be you
and it’s your fault.

**I cannot wait to be rid of you.
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