To the nights I've cried.
To the nights of his attempted suicide.
To the nights of depression.
To the nights of happiness.
To the nights of my lonely woe.
To the nights filled with stress.
To the nights of questioning.
To the nights and days that were the absolute hardest to get through.
To those night.
Thank you for being there.

Am I pretty?
I try really hard
To be what they call pretty

Pretty is:
Skinny, But not anorexic
Makeup, But not to much
****, But not a ****

I do it to be accepted
So I'm not alone
I just want to fit in

I want to be pretty
But,
I'm no model
People forget, there's no Photoshop in real life

But...

They use to say I love you.
I hope no one ever hurts you.
They'd just met, but it was love.
Right?
Well the doll was never loved, but this had to be it.
She was happy.
Right?
She'd never felt happiness before though, so this had to be it.
She was a good doll.
Right?
She'd always try to help...
She wanted to wipe the tears of the hurt. She'd put them before her.
They were her best friend.
Right?
Or maybe that's just what she would tell herself...
Stop. Don’t question yourself!
She wanted to be good and happy and loved.
I just want to be happy
So even though something was wrong it was ok.
R i g h t ?


W r o n g .
Sometimes you can be used to much... ya know?
She still felt empty.
But that's normal, right?
She's a doll.
They don't have feelings.
Right?
Wrong.
She's cracking. Again. It's not working. This isn't happy. The twinkle in her eyes dimmed.
She is crumbling bit by bit.
I told you. Haha.
Reality hit her with a blow to the face

I LoVe YoU, Doll.
I hope no   one ever hurts you.

To be the admirer was familiar
To always love but never loved.
Now,
The roles have switched
And I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.

I love you
I love you so much
I love you I swear.
I'd die for you.
I love you don't leave
no, no, no
What did I do!
Babe, I promise don't leave!
Please!
Stop stop stop!!!







Wait. Who are you?

In a perfect world
I would have you
I would be pretty
I would be smart
I would be perfect
But perfect doesn’t exist
So instead I go unnoticed
I’m not pretty, no matter how much I put makeup on
I’m failing my classes
This is a cold world
It's far from perfect

Young girl
Dumb girl
How many times are you going to think he’s the right one
How many times are you willing to get hurt
Mentally
Psychically
Be careful
You’ll get a bad reputation
I know you
You pretend to be strong
But you’re weak so weak
How many times will you allow him to break you down
You’re to young
I want to protect you
But I’m no better than you
I fall just as hard
And as fast
Im impulsive
And weak
But I want to change that
I want to help you
But what could I do
What if this time he’s the right one
Or
What if he’s just like the others
All the broken promises
All the heartbreak
We’ll never truly know
Until it’s to late
Why must we bare the burden of young love
They think its dumb
And it is
They say it wont last
And it probably wont
But we still look for it
Hoping
That maybe
Just maybe it’s him
That he’ll be able to fix all the hurt
Always saying
Maybe next time
Maybe next time?
How many next times will there until you know
Is it even worth it?
I guess we’ll just have to wait
We’ll find out together
We’ll go through the pain together
We’ll do it all together.
But
Maybe next time we wont be so young and dumb.

I hate having to depend on other people.
They always let you down.


Always.

My eyes  are hot.
Why are they so hot?
tears, their streaming down my face.
WHy?
This problem, equation, function.
It is so confusing.
I don't get it.
I don't get any of it.
I hate taking test.
Why are my hands shaking.
Its just a test..
Or is it?
Is this my future.
My hearts in my throat,
Can this all just disappear.

Can I
Why am I so bad at this.
School test life.
I can't focus
Everythings crushing down on me.
I can't breathe
I can't
I

Jaws
The predator of the night
The one feared by everything and everyone
He rules from the fear
The powerful bite will take a limb off within seconds
Only the brave dare tamper with this lion of the sea
He blends with the deep dark abyss
Wait for prey
Move as fast as you can but he will still catch you
He comes in many different shapes and forms
No one would dare mess with this beast
He has no competition
He has no fears
He is the fear
The one thing everyone fears
He isn’t alone
He has brothers
They come in different shapes and forms
Some more brutal than the other
Then there are some that are harmless
But that’s only told by story
Competition is key and he always wins
He will toy with you
Than take your life.

I'm going crazy.
I really am.
Everyone else is happy.
But I'm just pretending.
I can't be strong anymore
Its so hard...
I keep everything in.
But how long?
How much longer?

I just want to cry.

No ones here for me anymore.
Or maybe they were never there.

Freedom
Something we all search for
In a world full of confinement
We search for freedom.
We’ve fought for freedom.
To be able to say,
I am free.
Liberty.
Independence.
Democracy.

I am me
My own person
No one owns me

But, after years and years of fighting
I still don’t think we’re free
We just follow
We follow
And we think we’re free

But the blatant truth is
We are: “a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.”
We are,
Slaves.

Life.
It's beautifully frightening
Almost a rush.
Filled with many ups and down.
Some may get lost in its beauty,
While others drown in the depths of pain.

Love.
A natural ecstasy.
You didn't know it was possible to hate someone so much, yet still feel so much passion toward them.
Until he came and swept you away.

Learn.
Taking place during your many life times.
Wrongs and rights.
Repetition.
The never ending process of understanding and ignorance.

I died today.
                                                          ­         ******
A slow burning death.

They said I would be ok.

But I died today.

As I silently wept, slowly withering away.
                                                           ­        ******
They said I would be ok.

They said they'd remember me.

Who were  they?

Disappeared like a whisper in a crowd.

They killed me.
                                                             ­      ******
My cries for help
                                                        ­           ******
Go unnoticed.
Its too late.
To save the dead.
The ****** of that young girl I once knew as her.
She was once me.
Now known as They.

Red.
A tub of red.
She took the pain away.
It was so easy.
Why didn't she think of this before?
It was too easy.
No one was there for her...
But when she's gone.
When she's gone
They'll all say they were her best friend.
So close.
Everyones so stupid.
And liars...

We all want happiness
But only the lucky ones get it
All we can do is hope that things turn out for the best
And hope that we are one of the lucky ones

I'm Different.
Me too!
Same.

You all say that your different.
But how?
Why are you different?
Your all wearing the same clothes.
You all try to act the same as some rapper or singer.

Åre you sure that your different?

“So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, just to arrive safely, at death”
-Tony Campolo

Don’t say your different
ße different!
Have people do double takes when you walk down the road
ße different!
Try to do the undone.
ße different!
Its ok to stand alone.
Don’t live your life trying to please everyone.
Its ok to put yourself before others.

∆∆∆∆∆

Hey boy
I don't know what love is
But we'll figure it out together
Every flaw
Every bit of perfection
I'll love it
I'll love you
I swear I'll love you

Stop faking like we're so happy.
Just because your friends here.
It's so aggravating.
All these fake smiles
Trying to make me look like the bad guy because I'm not changing.
I'm not changing.
At all.
Because the truth is life here is ****.

I’ve been looking for something very important
Have you seen it?
I think it just took a turn at the last stop sign.

Oh
You’ve heard about it too?

Well can you help me
Let’s go find it together
What was that?
What’s it called?

Oh
I call it happiness
Lets go find our happiness

I'm not afraid of death.
But I don't want to die
But dying seems relaxing.
And that scares me.

I do want to live.
                                                                                                   i think
slowly slipping from reality.
Too damaged to deal.
Too tired.

I just need one thing.
One.
Glimmer of hope.

Please?

contradiction...
I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.

Dark place.
and everyone who said they'd be there for me isn't.
So *******.
I needed you.
You're too selfish to know.
You think your life is hard.
You couldn't handle in mine.
Sometime I wonder if I'll make it out alive...
Ha.

I think that I'm slowly losing myself.
                                          In this board game we call life.

Time means nothing to me anymore

To my lovely girl,
I know that no matter what happens to you, you'll be fine.
Because YOU are a survivor.
You will make it.
You where meant for nothing less than success.
And you know what! Life's ******* hard!
We have all experienced the feeling of walls closing in on us.
And there may seem like there's no way out...
But that doesn't mean we can't make a way.
It may be exhausting,
It may make you feel like you want to **** yourself
or just stop trying and waiver through the rest of your long days.
but I know you will figure things out.
I'm not going to lie to you,
***** going to be hard.
But it will be worth it.
So this is for my lovely girl,
I will always believe in you no matter what.
Because your worth it.


This "poem" may **** but I DONT CARE!

Please don't call me that
It makes me uncomfortable
It hurts my feelings.
Please stop saying that word.
You know I'm not,
Anor...
I cant even type it.
I hide myself, just so people wont call me that.
I'm sorry I was born this way
Just stop
Don't call me that.
End of story.

Hey why are you letting him call you that
You should have respect for yourself
He doesn't own you
You're strong,
Beautiful
Don't let him take that away from you
Don't let that mere boy take away the beauty in your life

The feeling

The motion

The color

To feel absolute

The mistakes

The never ending

But coming to a finish

You go back

To your regular life

And you never look back

*******.

You and Me
Us
We
You and I
Together
Doesn’t exist.
But.
Maybe.
Just Maybe.
In another life.

I don't know what it is...

I'm stuck
I can't leave
No freedom

Because I'm a girl
I can't leave alone
But I just want to be alone

Passing back and fourth
Going nowhere fast.

I'm so done with my routine life
I want to be free from
This house
That school
This town

I just want to run away from all of it

To find yourself
Few do.
Lose yourself
Less work, easier to do.
We've lost the innocence of our childhood.
Our dream that seemed so close
Now impractical.
I miss my imagination, my freedom.
The person I used to be.
Come back and visit sometime.
Please.

Roses are red
violets are blue
Life is short
And so are you
Looking out the windows
And thinking of the number 2
My thoughts are random
And so are you
Wow time flies by
Just like us two

I feel so sad
numb
done