often seen as
an outsider

a burning
ball of
fury

rough around
the edges
like
a
serrated knife
in need of
a good
sharpening
but always
putting up
a fight

inside
deep
deeeeep
inside
lies
and hides
a
squishy
lil’ gummy
that doesn’t
want to be seen
in the light
it wants
to remain
hidden
in the depths
of
what’s left
of
my
mind
the little voice
that whispers
“we’re gonna be fine”
fades away
a little more each day
and i
can barely hear it
anymore
i can barely
feel
the sun
shine
even though
it invades my eyes
and tries
so hard
to make me
go
blind

but there’s
no escaping
thought
there’s
no escaping
time

no place
to hide
from
my memories
my nightmares,
no
escaping
these
i can hold
my breath
and count to three
but i’ll still
wake up
and
be stuck
as
“me”

Arlo Disarray©

As winter meets its end
I meet myself at the beginning
It's taken time to approach and mend
Where rejection, first, was winning

My inner child is healing
While my pain is fully felt
I let my tears flow down
Heart healing as it melts

Sickness takes it's hold
Of my physical form
They said this soul was old
When I had just been born

The grief of loss
When I looked to her
She walked away
Door shut in my face

The grief of rejection
When he spoke his hurt
Those words were painful poison
Destroying all my worth

No parents to love
Or be loved by
I was only a child
But I wanted to die

Astral projection
My best friend was God
I begged to go back
But my journey, that was not

So I sit here and write
Allowing myself to cry
I hold myself softly
I'm getting ready to fly

Rediscovering what's to love
Realizing that I am enough
My strength is building slowly
Although the journey has been rough

My spirit is being guided
To find what hurts and pull it out
To spill all of my secrets
And remove my heart of doubt

There's been a drought
Long lasting
That I have finally shaken free
Today I walk in gratitude for all who have blessed me

Alone, in my tragedy
The wallowing that ensued
I walked away from all of you
And directly to my doom

I led myself astray
Because of the pain I could not face
At this point in time, I feel it's safe to say
I've found my way and I'm in a different place

I look around and here you are
Loving me as I am
So thank you from the very core of me
For loving me as I am

The sun is out
Showing its face
After a dark storm
With lots of pouring rain
Heaviness
High winds
Dark gray skies
When the sun finally comes
Like a welcome friend
Bright, golden, warm
Enticing
Blue sky returns
Set against marshmallow white clouds
Sunshine bliss

Everything is clean
Washed by nature
The city takes on a new look
Streets look better
Windows shine
Flower colors are striking
Trees stand taller
Reaching up towards the sky
Grass is greener
Sunshine bliss

Moods brighten
Smiles are bigger
People feel lighter
If freed from something
Laughter is louder

Sunshine bliss

sometimes love can hurt it can make you cry
feel you had enough kiss the world goodbye
that is not the answer or the thing to do
your only hurting others that really care for you

stand up and be strong use you will and hope
and the hurt you feel this will help you cope
time will help you mend help your heart to heal
and as time goes bye change the way you feel

then you can start again leave the past behind  
and when the time is right a new love you will find
you can love again with somebody new
love it will return and comeback to you

Clouds passing over

the sun give life to the floor --


it breathes up and down.

Next to what was once

the farmyard, a kitchen chair --


in the tall wild grass.