Why weren't you satisfied,
with being perfect, therefore pure?
your had your pride and lied,
That, He never could endure.
You set yourself too high,
from that great height, you fell;
became the father of the lie,
the reigning mayor of hell.
Son of the morning, you once shone,
an angel of great rapture;
but you sought the highest throne,
to cherish and to capture.
Now, your power's here, on earth,
to blind the hearts of all;
shirking your angelic birth,
taking others with your fall.
You've corrupted many men,
by your insatiable desire;
but He'll bring you to your end,
in the terrible last fire.

It always amazes me
how gullible some people can be.
For they never take the time to try and see
just what the heck is going on with me.
They never take the time to realize
that all of my pain is hidden in my eyes.
Nor does it ever come to their minds that those tears  of “joy" are actually tears of sorrow.

I’ve masked my pain for too long!
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on!
All I think about now is how much I long for that release,
by which people refer to as only something done by those who are weak.

They don’t understand how at ease it makes some of us feel
to cut ourselves and watch ourselves bleed.
They don’t understand that for some of us it feels good to do so
because it feels like we are ridding ourselves of our burdens.

I’ve masked my pain for so long
that it's getting to the point where I'm about to lose hope.
Yet there is a very faint voice inside my head
that tells me that someone in this world full of shades of gray,
that doesn't believe in my falsified bliss
and that they're coming to my rescue.

I really want this to be true,
so that my life will no longer be so blue.

I want to get rid of all of the lies
and say goodbye to this mask once and for all!

our story needed to be shared
it was epic
with moments of divine beautiful happiness
and moments of raw animalistic pain
so i attempted to write it down

it took me years of reliving every detail
writing on napkins in coffee shops
and receipts in grocery stores

it took me years of memories
three suicide attempts
and two men i never really loved

i finished last night
i finished our story
------------------------------------
and then my screen lit up
and then the walls came down
and then i realized our story hasn't ended
all we've been through is the prologue

I do not cherish what I see
mayhem and confusion  
strewn before Me

everything is on edge
ready to explode
If we keep a lid on it
it will surely implode

heart in throat
pulse pounds
crickets go quite
time to hit the ground

My skin
it crawls
anticipating
secrets to be revealed
the truth is much too painful

Leave My body
so as Not To Feel


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.