Looking for the words
the exact words of prayers
in several agnostic pages
with untidy, scattered phrases
- blindfold yourself like
how you're used to all this time.

In the backyard
of your six feet layers
of loneliness
interrogate the dogs,
like when you breathe in
the happiness.

Assemble
all the words.

Lament.

Express yourself
like how you make love
to the dark, feverish heartache.

Prayer
is when
you lump
all your fears
and desires
indefinite words,
waiting for
all the fractions
in the metasphere
to take over.

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

[Untukmu di Langkawi, 26 Jun 2018]

Beratus-ratus retakan kaca
tidakkan pernah imbang neraca
betapa berat hatiku menunggu
detik-detik tak berpenghujung
beribu-ribu detakan hati
takkan pernah akan ku lari

biar Bukowski dengan kebuntuan
biar Rimbaud dengan ketidaktentuan
akan hanya ada dirimu dalam
laci yang penuh dengan kepastian.

Berbatu-batu kau ke utara
begitulah rasa ini terawang-awang di udara.

If this is it
Then so shall it be
Such is final.

Leave it as it is.

I am but a swine
Cast out by my own.

Even in the heat of pain
I will regroup and fight.

The slash of swords I will withstand
Withstand.

Until such time as it is no more.

And then, who cares
I want to live.

©Joe Wilson - Me…(Aku) a tribute to Chairil Anwar (1922-1949)

Apa yang ku mahu

Hanya ku yang tahu



Biar ada datang membelenggu

Akan datang angin menyatu



Lari,lari pergi saja diriku

Jauh ke puncak aku tetap berlalu



Aku jiwa lama termangu

Bosan, letih jadi diriku



Kerna ada saja yang rasa tahu

Lebih dari rohku.


16 April 2012

Kehidupan
tak menjanjikan
harapan;

Kematian
tak menjanjikan
penyelesaian.