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  Oct 2024 Richard Shepherd
Rai
This evening there are no words
Or explanations for how I feel .
I have become accustomed to feeling a little numb .
Only when diving head first into nature and quenching my thirst for life can I feel .
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will not fasten  the seat belt
ready for the roller coaster that follows,
I will dive head first
Then regret later
I will allow,
Beckon even
I will scream from the roof tops until my lungs are sore
I will not be silent
I will not be kind
Or caring
I will not be needy or wanting
I will quench this thirst that lays in my soul
My soul
Dare me to feel and I will need to back away and hide in darkened places.
Licking old wounds and not allowing you any closer.
Be careful how you approach me,
I seem like I am standing here with an armour to protect.
But I am weak when love lies before me.
I will not write a masterpiece this evening ,
I will be the masterpiece
Standing tall and feeling weak,
Looking brave and yet falling,
Falling apart at the seams that make me
Me …
  Oct 2024 Richard Shepherd
Maddy
Should have never listened
Her truth not mine
Looking back needed to move forward
Couldn't play her games
Her rules were not honest and true
Maybe just for her because she had to be the winner
How can you love somebody but not like them?
I did
I do
Heaven only knows these lessons
Took another set of eyes to see what I was blind to see.
I was an enabler.
Searching for Galileo,
    the race to be first home,

In a sea of patients
    we climb the probability tree,
    walk upon the shore collecting
      memory shells,

We win the little wars,
     lose the big fight,

These windows are breathing apparatus,
     this ceiling, a blur of tungsten sky,
     rain, tears, weep,

To rest near to you,
     the technicolor sleep,
     and I died with you,

All farewells are sudden.
~
You are
the river that runs
beneath this city.

You lend
the beautiful but empty
buildings a beating heart.

And the buildings were essential.

They were a part
of the lives unfolding
in their shadows.

Sometimes it
almost seems like
they are listening.

I'm sinking inside them.

Tell me a story
about an outgoing road,
the house where you grew up
near the Sea of Azov.

I think
I flew there once.

The birds
that perch inside my chest
sing loud, sing soft.

Maybe they
will sing again for us
tomorrow.

~
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