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Taijah Apr 2018
you were enchanted by
the spellbinding promises
that left her lips --
intoxicated by
the very suggestion of her

you tucked her porcelain body
into your bed sheets --
your shared affection a secret
that you were more than willing
to keep

and by morning,
you will pull back the covers
to reveal last night's sins --
your sheets stained
with betrayal and deceit
Taijah Apr 2018
if i were to see you again,
would i stand my ground,
or crumble
like the dirt beneath your feet?
Taijah Apr 2018
to you,
i may only be a thought of convenience -
relevant only for the time-being -
but the thought of you
clings to my brain,
lingering in the depths
of every crevice
Taijah Apr 2018
it isn't silence that is uncomfortable,
it is the result of that silence that is --
it's the sickening thoughts
that find their way into your brain
and have a funny way
of ruining the peace
Taijah Apr 2018
and like an unsent letter,
my feelings for you will remain
tucked away,
because as strong as they may be,
the feeling in my gut is stronger,
and it is telling me
that whatever happens
is going to be
more bitter than sweet
Taijah Apr 2018
i have never been in love --
just the notion of such a thing
sends fear throughout
my entire body

it is something i crave,
yet at the same time,
it is something i have
trained myself to avoid

do not get too close,
in fact,
do not spend much time with them at all --
it will only make matters harder
when you remember that
feelings are ephemeral,
and that you need to save yourself
from constantly wondering
when their feelings are going to come to a halt --
save your heart from feeling
the inevitable ramifications
of their love being taken away.

do not fall in love with their smile
and the way it seems as though
their euphonious voice was created just
for your ears to listen to --
it will consume your thoughts.

do not daydream about what may be,
because daydreaming turns into wishing,
and wishes never come true.

and no matter how much you want to,
do not start caring.
because caring leads to heartbreak,
and from what i have seen,
there is no recovering from something like that.
this was written over a year ago, after a heartbreak i took too hard. i have since learned to tear down the internal wall i built, and let love into my life. it is both odd, and wonderful, looking back at old writing whilst on the other side of things.

— The End —