i have never been in love --
just the notion of such a thing
sends fear throughout
my entire body
it is something i crave,
yet at the same time,
it is something i have
trained myself to avoid
do not get too close,
in fact,
do not spend much time with them at all --
it will only make matters harder
when you remember that
feelings are ephemeral,
and that you need to save yourself
from constantly wondering
when their feelings are going to come to a halt --
save your heart from feeling
the inevitable ramifications
of their love being taken away.
do not fall in love with their smile
and the way it seems as though
their euphonious voice was created just
for your ears to listen to --
it will consume your thoughts.
do not daydream about what may be,
because daydreaming turns into wishing,
and wishes never come true.
and no matter how much you want to,
do not start caring.
because caring leads to heartbreak,
and from what i have seen,
there is no recovering from something like that.
this was written over a year ago, after a heartbreak i took too hard. i have since learned to tear down the internal wall i built, and let love into my life. it is both odd, and wonderful, looking back at old writing whilst on the other side of things.