How long is the regret

That it is always at the end?

Times like this I'm not sure of what to write about
Do I write about happiness that I will one day find
Or do I write about sadness, my current state of mind
Lost in a war between the Ups and the Downs
Romeo and Juliet, Montagues and Capulets
Some one save me from this confusion
Tell me that it will be all right
Tell me that the Ups will end this never ending battle of emotions that constantly rule my day
I don't want to be here, not like this

& i dont mean physically
you turned your mind off to me
you shut down & backed out
i was staring at the corpse
of the girl that once laughed
she could breathe life into the room
but now youre a walking tombstone
with the words
i rest in pieces
carved haphazardly into the front
now the only peace of mind i have
is that it wasnt me who killed you
it was your own heart
racing faster than a freight train
& when it beats out of your chest
maybe ill see the real you
soaked in blood
& charging for the exit
not unlike the last time we spoke
i swear you threw the door off its hinges
like you ripped our pages
out of the book
& used them to wrap your cigarettes
breathing in our words
like tobacco
feeding off our feelings
like nicotine
you smoked yourself into a stupor
& wiped your mind clean
of any thought of me

[holyoak]

Still finding myself. This **** is hell.
Looking for silent peace
Looking for something more
Have you ever had such a dark soul?
The kind that even monks can't ignore.
Looking for that silent peace
Where my mind is relaxed and your name doesn't appear
Looking for tranquility near the water where my tears can flow and connect to the sea
I'm still finding myself. With every breath, with every break I'm still trying to find me.