.

I play my guitar,
now crying in sevens
a cold vacant morning
with rain on the ground

Sorrowful chords,
on the strings of emotion
in three quarter tear drops
where sadness is bound

                                   And the storm clouds they form
                                   on the edge of tomorrow
                                   with thoughts ever yearning
                                   for your melodies

                                  dreaming of yesterdays
                                  caught in the feedback,
                                  out of tune longings
                                  in lost harmonies

Breathing in silence
of fret seperations
seeking a songlist
of lyrics unfound  

A chill strums my heart,
sitting empty and hollow
I play my guitar
and there isn’t a sound

15 steps until I hit the front door.
15 steps until I wrap my arms around you.
15 steps until I breathe in the smell of cigarettes and diesel fuel.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of chocolate banana milkshakes being made.
Sitting on the dining room chair with his headphones falling off my head.

15 steps is all it takes to run out the front door, just the clothes on our back.
15 steps trembling in fear.
15 steps of my heart beating out of my chest.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of screams.
Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV, not knowing who's house we would be sleeping at that night.

The many years of sleepless nights and tears.
The many years of broken promises and nightmares.
But I will always remember those 15 steps of excitement, hope, chaos and terror.

Maybe one day you will remember late night milkshakes.
Maybe one day you will remember not knowing where your family was on those nights.

Maybe one day, you will remember how to be a Dad.

she says
my heart is too big
it barely fits
i say
i can feel
the veins
slithering down my
wrists i was born
with walls so thick
no human eye
could see where i
began and where
i ended i
could feel
my heart hammering
away at my ribcage
it wanted to get out
when they tore
down the walls
and brought me into
this world they
didn’t cut deep enough

she talks
in pulses and palpitations
and every time
my heart flutters
she loses her breath
i tried to tear
the walls down myself
i couldn’t cut deep enough

she says
something
a thump a thump
thump but
my heart is too big
it’s the only
thing i hear
the only thing
i know there’s not
enough room for two
i can feel
my veins overflowing
i can’t cut deep enough

my heart
my big, big heart
spilling through my ribcage
it wants to get out

*if i want to let you in
i have to let it out

Though he is small
He understands the empty house.
Running to his room
He hides,
Inside the duvet
Re-reading the hungry caterpillar.
Wanting to emerge from his cocoon
Into a world
Where wilted flowers grow

In my life,the garden of flowers something speak
Sun rays through my window wake me up
Rising of the sun so nicely treats & greets
Dew drops shines in sun beams
I want to live in my dreams
In my garden of love
Flowers are fluttering & dancing
Beneath the tress and before me
Enjoying fresh breeze
Playing each other
Listening to the music of birds delightful song
Tossing head and calling me
Daffodils,lily, sunflower and jasmine
Every beauty of the garden praises divine
Daisy, tulip and marigold
A few were faded and too old
In my garden of love
I have seen so many sweet flowers
I picked and chose only one
That is my lovely red rose
It's bright eyes sparkle like the stars
Staring at me &  fall in deep love
I touched my red rose
And pulled too close
Smelling it's smell for a love dose
It's fragrance whispers "I love you"
With a smiling & glowing face
And touched my nose
It's soft red petal gleefully kissed my lips
And it's green leaf hugged me
Your presence makes me happy
Gives strength to my body & soul
Oh my lovely red rose
Coz of you My garden of love always blossoms
Your attractive beauty really entices me
Without you no nightingale sings a song
Oh my lovely red rose
Don't ever feel blue
Coz I really love you

By shaffu.

i think we self-destruct
differently

i feel as though you are a forest fire
(and maybe that's because you
are the warmest thing in my life but)
you are a force
you rage on
even if it means
leaving charred remains
in your wake
you are bright
you burn
you are so
incandescent
that people can look at you
and be so entranced
that they can forget the ashes
i feel as though maybe
that is how you feel
as you survive, you incinerate
but you incinerate to survive

i know there is life in you,
sometimes all it takes is a breath of wind,
a breeze to uncover seedlings and buds that have taken root already
i know for a fact that the world
would be left a shadow
without your heartfire

[i feel as though i am a decaying stump,
uprooted and on my side
(do you get it, because i'm always in bed and no longer growing and)
i'm all rot.
all i want is to be some kind of pretty,
without a care in the world,
i'm just waiting to feed the flowers]

sometimes i wish that
i could drown the sun or
stomp it right out of the sky

but i can't stand to hurt the moon like that
and i couldn't if i tried