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 Feb 2017 Rae
ALC
Porcelain Doll
 Feb 2017 Rae
ALC
I AM NOT GENTLE,
I am not soft,
I am not a fragile doll, so please do not scoff.

Do not look surprised by the bruises on my legs,
Do not be shocked by my lack of faith,
Do not warn me of lives great loss,
Do not tell me to not get lost.

I want to wander
And climb
And cheer.
I want to be lost,
And full of fear.

I want to fall down
And get back up.
I want to get scratches,
To be covered in cuts.

My porcelain skin
Will soon be cracked,
And yes you may stand there and start to laugh.
Though you’ll never see
The fire inside
That devoured this fragile soul
That you think resides.
Deep in my being
It will hide
Because this lion will conquer
And rule the whole pride.

No I am not a gentle girl,
This I have never been.
I have never thought of life
  As willing to just let me win.
So here I will push on
With my bruises as friends,
And conquer this world
And then,
Yes, I will win.
-ALC February 5, 2016
 Feb 2017 Rae
BarelyABard
Before my birth, I had no name.
Cities born out of
straight lines and
mathematical perfection
became the law.
It taught me what it means to walk.
Child becomes man
and man becomes confused.
Confusion turns to fear
and the man becomes abused.

I asked myself.
The mountains don't grow in straight lines. The ocean follows no law.
The clouds do not need a guiding hand
The beasts do not fear tomorrow.
Why do I?

When I looked into the heavens with a solemn cry for truth.
I did not see an ancient god,
but came upon a laughing youth...

Playing hide and seek.
That is when I understood.

In the end, I'll have no name.
Just embers in an endless flame.
 Jan 2017 Rae
Ito
Car Accident
 Jan 2017 Rae
Ito
Got into a car accident this morning and I left my phone in my car.Don't know how to reach you.  Just got home, car totaled and some muscle injury.  I'm fine overall.  This is not a poem.
 Jan 2017 Rae
Ammar
I wondered
&
I pondered
&
I thought about it too

What is the stuff that
dreams are made of


The Stuff that

Shatters like *glass

Shape-shifts like water
Splatters like blood
Stings like fire

The Stuff that makes

Nightmares
&
**Fantasies
-
 Jan 2017 Rae
Taru Marcellus
there are so many holes in the sky tonight
I wish I could crawl through one
and drop into an infinite drop
explore the nothing in the nothing
freefalling has always felt natural to me
I guess that's why it's so hard to orient myself
with enough space for beliefs and doubts
I look to the moon for guidance
while it waxes and wanes
it is always whole
illuminated or not
it is always present
It's not the kind of sadness which makes you want to cry all the time,
But the kind of sadness that overwhelms your senses so much,
You began to question your sanity
You lost touch with all your emotions.

Venlafaxine in the day
A little white pill,
Promising you no more break downs.

Sertraline in the evening
Two little blue pills,
Selling you dopamine and fake smiles.

Quetiapine in the night
Three little pink pills,
Swearing that you'll be in control.

Those lies they feed you
False hope sold in crazy little pills,
I still clutch the bottle of gas
Dreaming of normalcy,
Cradling a razor blade on broken skin
I smile like a fool.
 Dec 2016 Rae
JustChloe
Again
 Dec 2016 Rae
JustChloe
It's one in the morning
My heart is racing and I can feel the pain I've felt for centuries
I can feel you leaving me
I can feel the tearing of my heart strings
The blades of betrayal in my back
And the tears running down my cheeks
I'm scared
More than I've ever been
Of losing you, Somone I love, again
OF going through that loniless
And depression again
OF losing another part of me
Because I'm not sure I have enough left to live with myself without you there
I need you
But you don't need me in fact you probably never did
I should accept it
Now
Before it happens
I should block your number
Stop going to lunch
Skip study hall and pretend we never met
Pretend you didn't soften my heart like I did
Pretend you didn't show me how to be happy again
How to truely feel again
Pretend you never existed
Forget all the jokes and remeber how to be alone again
I should just push you away
So I won't have to lose someone I love
Again
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