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rachel redwine Nov 2016
What I love,
At least i'll admit.
Not enough,
For you was it?
What kind of
Human being's this?
Not the one
I thought had exist.

And don't cha wanna talk about it baby?..
how things are going bad for you lately?
      
I cannot help the way that you made me,
                             all cut up, bleeding,
                                           don't try to see save me.

You're right
I always had been wrong,
I let this go on for way too long.
If not for you, I would move on
If not for who? I would be gone.


The lighting hits,
I can't feel it
maybe it missed
guess that's what I get.

Fool it, beat it, blind it, lock it down
and don't you let them go!

Until you use it, cheat it, fake it,
then leave them better off
ALONE.

ALONE.
ALONE.

I know alone,
I know i'm on own.
rachel redwine Oct 2016
I know what I felt
and I know i've been shamed
since I don't deserve you
I must become of my dream.
A thought to include you
a bite to obtain
a soul too and through you
a heart to remain.
By God you are worthy
with God you might
a knowing untold
given the fight.

I know how I need you
I made to believe
I love and I need you
or so I had dreamed
you blessed and betrayed me
forgot or just maybe
let me hope of days
we'd be together forever and always.



Walking away
you saw your out
what was your purpose?
what was doubt?
God couldn't help us,
this is between you and me.
I could never hurt you,
so you tortured me.

I should of let you down.
but I don't wanna let you down.
rachel redwine Sep 2016
Can you taste these words?
Can you see these things?  
Yeah I know it hurts
But it's what I need.

To be just like you,
Would be just like me
After all I was
Was just a tragedy

I took to these words
And what they do mean
You get what you deserve
And your so deserving

I know I'm disturbed
And it's disturbing
How it all really works
All inside of me
rachel redwine Sep 2016
Holding it all against me
though you said you never would.
Never wanted to ever hurt me
though we both knew that you could.

And thoughts came and left me
quite disturbed but understood

the reason I feel guilty
never saying what I should.
rachel redwine Aug 2016
I'm bleeding again,  
Almost all the time.
  Might end up dead

I ignore the fact
That I never choose
  life over death.

And all the thoughts I've had
And all the words I've said

They never linked, that's why speak before I think.

I bleed,  it's pouring out
And somethings coming in.
It fills my space
and takes my place.  
  I am not who I am
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