there is a certain beauty in death
in suicide
in the full throttle
pushed to the limit
until I
crashed into the tree
and with a snap
a match is gone.

I am giving up on you
because you don't seem to care
you don't act like I'm here
and I run faster
because its muggy
and cold outside
and I can't even tell you
that i love you anymore
if you won't read it
if you won't tell me
you love me anymore.

I opened up
my laptop
to send you a message
to say I'm sorry
make sure you were still gone
and I realized
there's nothing left to say.
You're gone.

Have you been
sleeping in my bed
Have you been
sleeping in my bed
because I found
the traces
of your skin
the traces of your skin
Have you been sleeping in my head
because I found
the traces of your thoughts
trailing through my skull
with a warrant for my sanity
crushing my soul
with a warrant for my sanity
on a one man police force
trying to stop me
from breaking through your skin
and injecting myself
an IV of pain and amphetamine
muscle relaxers and a single tiny
white pill
to break through your thoughts
and find my place
to settle down
and sleep.

Bang your head against the keyboard until the fear fades.

in little shattered
bits of future
with cards and ash and radium
all spread around my brain
I wrap my fingers around your bone
to tug it away
from my heart
which you have been clinging to
for far too long
and I cast off
the phosphorous light
that have ignited my lungs
and filled my fists
with a rage
rivaled only
by the dragons
in stories my mother would read to me
until I fell asleep
clinging to a razorblade.

teeth
a trail of teeth
leading into a bedroom
where a ghost awaits
your arrival
upon this horrible
rock
just
nothing but
an infant
nothing but a filthy infant
that can't hurt anyone
if we say we hate feeling useless
why do we still live