but some nights i just think too far ahead,
i just think too much at once,
about things that don't matter,
things that aren't happening yet,
what-ifs and why-nots and
holy **** i love you
and i know i told you i'd message you before i'd cut myself again,
but **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

Counting calories, telling lies
She'll keep this up until she dies.
Empty eyes, empty stomach, empty heart, empty mind;
What I've become is enough to drive myself mad
Empty, empty, empty. I'm nothing but sad.
So here it is girls, the rumors were true
I try so hard to be as skinny as you.
A monster, A *******, empty, empty girl;
I'm killing myself with my poor mental health.
Starving for beauty, beauty is pain
My head hurts so bad, I'm going insane.
Clutching my ribs, my thighs caving in
They were right--
Anorexia wins.

are we dying to be skinny,
or are we dying,
to be skinny.

The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.

Bruises left on my body
A footprint of your words.

Bulimia is a scary thing.
That is a fact.
She'll cradle and choke you.
But she'll get rid of the fat.

Bulimia is a scary thing.
But this is for sure-
The burning in your throat and mouth
Will not be the only sore.

Bulimia is a scary thing.
Late at night when you're alone
She'll be with you
Kneeling at the porcelain thrown.

Bulimia is a scary thing.
Because very soon
She'll have you dreaming
Of being a thinspo.