i am not afraid of my Holy Father
i am afraid of my Merciless God who keeps me awake at night towering over me in an unassuming sort

omniscient

all knowing

after all,
how can you run
from someone who knows exactly where you'll be?

no amount of prayers will make the whispers stop
so you may as well write them down
as they're echoing in your mind

there is a halo on my tongue darling,
do you wish to taste heaven?

i'll make you soar to the top of the hierarchy of angels
and watch your whispers turn into the word of God

arms curling around you in a protective sort
i whisper your name and
dripping from my lips
the delicate words you crave to hear;

"i love you"

yet they never fall on your open ears
instead i say;

"you are my light"
"you are the sun"
"you are the stars i wish upon at night"

and i believe that means much more,
seeing as i've been in the dark
all my life
to be granted by something as bright as you
i'm honored

trust
trəst/
Noun
1. i know i don’t need anyone to make me feel better, that i can handle these things on my own. but speaking to you makes everything seem so much quieter.


2. there is me with tears streaming down my cheeks like rain. i cry all the time because i never cried when i was younger. there is you, with fire in your veins and hands dusted with the ashes of what is left of me.


3. you speak to me like i'm a person, like i have value and that you believe in me. you’re an entity and i want nothing more than to live in your heaven.

i. I hope the light from the skies spill like honey from your lips
I hope the stars find home in the leftover curves of your hands
Let them shimmer greatness on your skin

ii. Where do you write your sins?
Do you set them on fire and talk about everything
Talk about anything and laugh about nothing
Ignoring the pain
Until the rising sun kisses the wings on your back?

iii. Your heart is a place for the cosmos
To enter and make whole again
I bless a castle I’ve built in my head for you
If only you’d stay safe.
Go yell until you can fit the light in your body
And teach it not to escape anymore
Until you can find your way home again.

iv. I hope you realize home is inside of you

"be kind" you say and i sigh.
"i'm trying, everything just hurts please forgive me for right now."
you throw down your tablecloth, wiping your wet hands on your dress instead and shake your head at me, laughing to yourself like there's a joke i just made yet i'm not in on it.
"don't you know everyone else is hurting too?"
i nod, although i don't know.
because the pain i feel,
i never thought could be shared.
because the pain i feel,
i thought was only mine.