In the world of lovers
I am the lost one
watching you from afar
wrapped in a bedsheet
you rolled out of bed
your hair tousled and
lipstick messed up,
he again invaded my home last night
and you kissed him with passion,
night by night, I saw love
blossoming between the sheets
and over time, I have watched
the silence of your heart turning into soft moans,
with them, I heard my heart cracking an inch more

Now in the fading memories
you don’t see me anymore
yet I reached out to hold you,
but your arms were tightly knit
in a new “forever” with him
all these months,
I waited on the sidelines silently,
hoping you would utter my name
now even your hug seems a long-distant past,
and inside my heart, your love feels herself
like a caged bird,
so for the last time
I breathed in your scent as deeply as I could
I feed your love trinkets of my broken heart,
and this evening I’ll collect my baggage from your place,
but before saying you a final goodbye
I write this note believing that
it will remind you of me, and
you will hide it in a place in my home
which I can still call
mine, mine and only mine.

You want to **** me,
so go ahead **** me,
Tear me apart,
Make me moan,
**** my brains out,
Satisfy your hormones,
Fulfil your ego
Force yourself upon me
even when I beg you to stop,
Make me do filthy things
which gives you pleasure,
but when this all will end,
when you will crawl back
to the next side of the bed
I’ll go back to my heart’s lair
where I’ve hidden her
far from your reach
to be poisoned by your lust,
no matter how potent it is
I won’t let you do that to my heart
what you’ve done to me
It can never ever be yours.

Dark room,
honking horns,
light seeping in,
****** knife,
noose around the neck,
screaming soul,
shivering legs,
these suffocating nights.

I want to bid goodbye,
to honour my love for once,
to put you to rest in a place
where roses grow in spring,
lilies blossom in summer, and
the snow greets you on winter mornings,
but all I can find places in ruins,
ravaged by the firestorm last year, and
now a thick layer of ashes
is splattered all over,
the sun rarely comes here, and
the rain is afraid to wash away
carcasses of the past.
It feels like a lifetime
since I’ve been searching for a place
that you might like,
to build a graveyard in my heart.

I’ve got holes in my heart,
which I don’t want to patch it up
Though it makes me vulnerable and
lets you see right through my inside,
so I keep my smile on to
convince you,
that I’m happy seeing you
on the other side of the door
holding hands with someone else.~

I don’t know you and you don’t know me,
but still you know me in the way,
none who know me but still don’t know me.

So I appeal to the ones who don’t know me but still know me that keep me in your heart and not in your thoughts because the thoughts often do the judgements, and the day
you judge me, I’ve to push you with them
who know me but still don’t know me.

The devil on my shoulder
is here again,
his words echo in my ears,
trapping me in his petty lies.
I’m sinking deep into
his blue eyes,
luring me through his seductive
disguise,
slowly but steadily
he is erasing my
feelings,
love,
humanity,
tears,
pain
until there is nothing left
except emptiness inside my soul.