As a child, I liked to imagine animals as characteristics. Foxes were intelligence, lions were courage, dogs were loyalty, and beauty? Beauty was always a butterfly. I imagined her floating softly between humans, hesitating ever so slightly at each ones shoulder, making sure to only distribute the smallest amount of herself to each of them. After all, too much beauty is surely a dangerous thing. But from the first moment I saw you, I knew that beauty had rested her dainty legs on your shoulder for just a second, and she knew she'd never leave again. Beauty belonged to you like she had never belonged to anyone else. And they say that all is fair in love and war; but eyes like your's, my dear, were never in the cards.

Thinking about you and coffee, and the way those two completely separate things are somehow so similar. I'm always needing them first thing in the morning, or the last thing at night. And I think I could drink for days without ever quenching my thirst, so I do. But suddenly I am shaking like a leaf in a storm. I shake, and I smile, and I move across the floor like I know where I'm headed. And then my cup is empty, and I've become like some sort of addict that has finally run dry. I promise myself I'll never drink coffee again.
I fill my mug to the brim the next morning.

I've spent the past 5 years learning new ways to call your name. Like maybe if I hit the right note, you'll finally hear the desperate in my voice. Like maybe if I keep remembering you, you'll stop forgetting me.

You'd learn how to love me and I'd learn how to let go of the things that didn't.

The air drifts across my skin
in just the right way,
as if it belongs there,
as if it waits for me
to unfold my wings
and follow.

Fingers are grazing
gently across your skin.
Maybe they are yours
or maybe they are his
or maybe they aren't there at all.
Maybe they've moved on
to greener pastures
and bigger *******.

So we close our eyes
and tell ourselves
that help will come
tomorrow.
But tomorrow's hope
quickly turns to despair
and then despair fades into nighttime
and then tomorrow is over
and help never came.
So we close our eyes
and tell ourselves
that help will come
tomorrow.