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lizie 2d
the room bent at the corners,
walls breathing in and out.
everyone i loved was there,
but their faces flickered,
like static on a broken screen.

i held a glass cup.
it pulsed in my hand,
warm, alive.
i knew if i moved even slightly,
it would split open.

and it did.
not shattering,
but unfolding,
splinters sliding into my skin
like they belonged there.

i tried to cry out,
but my voice came out in glass,
sharp shards that cut the air
before falling at my feet.

i whispered,
“i don’t know what i did,”
“this really hurts,”
but they only smiled,
eyes blank as mirrors.

their mouths opened wide
and spoke in one voice:
“we don’t see what you see.”

and for a moment
i saw him in the corner,
the one i still love
even though love has gone sour.
he didn’t speak,
just watched me bleed,
his silence heavier
than any shard in my skin.

then i looked again,
and my hands were gone.
only blood and light
spilled from where they should’ve been.

and in the glow of it,
everyone raised their cups,
whole, gleaming,
as if nothing had ever broken.
Every soul
I swore an oath not to lose
became the ghosts
I learned to carry
in silence.
Everything we're scared to lose always end up losing them.
If Only You Knew

You were born too soon
I was a fixture in the Pediatric ICU
Being alone with no one to share my fears was unbearable
So, I prayed day and night for my baby girl
But it wasn’t meant to be
When your precious breath no longer could be felt
I cradled you to my *****
Your eyes closed forever
I held you until the end
I swelled with fear
Would I ever find peace?
Yes…
Her life will mean something
Her eyes will see again
Her heart will beat again
Some child will be made whole
To save another mother the pain of losing a child
If only you knew.…you were so loved
Softly the words came to my heart

~I knew Mommy I knew~


Scattered Thoughts 2022
Patricia LeDuc
February 2022
My walls are clean
My walls were clean
Does blood count as clean
As they drip down the dents and cracks

I leave my fists to dry
But they beg for more
Until I’m no longer sitting in just tears
My tears-my blood-my filth

They don’t leave marks
Just swollen knuckles
I say I hit the wall playing vr
Nobody sees me plucking paint chips from wounds
Years spent in a soulless vessel of flesh,
This cold can't preserve my wounds.
They bleed.
My remains are rotting away in reminiscence.
Watching our realm freeze,
Without your embrace's creed.

I was meant to fall,
with the higher ambition to touch you.
My fate can't reach your divine vastness.
So come now and melt the glaze,
And burn down our realm.
A final blaze of your flaming gaze,
Will turn this kingdom to drifting ash,
A whelming flare.

Bathed in your eyelashes gamma blaze,
Melt the ice from my burned, cracked flesh.
What will I do,
Without my kingdom and queen beside?
So I'll let your gaze devour me from existence,
And turn me into ashes like our realm.

I'll burn my mortal flesh;
And let my immortal ashes drift...
...Into the divine air,
that you breathe.

Falling through shackles of memories,
My ashes will drift into your vastness.
Enjoy the whole trilogy!
Chest thudding
Hands shaking
I lose control of my body
Even if my mind still works the same

I can feel my blood flowing
Cold
Tired
But fast

I get a constant chill
My pain goes away
I’m left with a broken everything
Nobody left me like this but me
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