I woke up today
thinking that I may
call you and just say
that I no longer care.

the truth is that I do
my heart still roots for you,
wishing yours would too
not wander towards blue.

I get crazy mad
thinking that you kept
staring at some babe
touching yourself and yet

knowing that I do
wait **** next door for you
laying in the bed
in despair and sad.

it’s no big deal to you
that’s just what you do
to make yourself get through
the stuff life has for you.

I'm far from happiness
for me this is no bliss
and so my fury keeps
whispering me to “kiss”

for all the chewing why
you sound and sad goodbye.

and then I lie and say
that maybe it’s okay
life is more than gray
I bite my tongue and stay.

I woke up today
thinking that I may
call you and just say
that I no longer care.

there are no stars
in your eyes
there are no sparks
in your moves
there is no hearty laughter
in your breath
there is no compassion
in your action
there is no enthusiasm
in your being

with me.

There is no me
in your love anymore.

a stabbing shiver corrodes my limbs
goosebumps lick my heart
a fat cramp strokes my lips
and terror waves my mind
freezingly hot blood
flushes twisted nerves
sweet foul shudder makes
all memories awake
blurry visions of happiness
worm into cutting blade
hissing a haunting realization:
that it is too late.
naivety suggests
a joyful brand new start
but the naked present screams
that you grew apart