I don’t want to change
anyone anymore.
I’ve seen the effort it
takes for me to change.
I accept that people
are rarely kind.
I know people
rarely care.
At times they have
good reasons for that.
Bullies are made by this
most of the time.
I have the same
struggles as all of them.
I admit there have
been many times
I’ve tried not to relate.
I am so human
at times it scares me.
My expectations have
left the station but
I’ve not given up.
God is in more
control than we know.

the mind needs to repeat this journey
into the clarity of fruits/glasses/doors
they used to talk with voices without tears
they used to speak without tongue
we are pedestrians into aerial dreams sometimes
we live in this density of meaning too complex for a circle
an uncoscious trajectory so precise & mysterious
I throw myself into the pool of time,
in its seeds, dangers, spirals,
into the unseen in my eyes
who I am is a destiny

I wish we never met
Even if fate led us there.
I wish we never talked
Even if the words came easy.
I wish we let silence win
Even if the conversation pulled us in.
I wish we never saw the signs
Even if they glowed so bright.
I wish we never felt that spark
Even if it burned so right.

But everything happened
And still, I wish I could turn back time
Even if I would never know you at all.

Villains aren't born
they're made
they go through hell
they suffer and get beaten down
belittled and abused
abandoned and hurt
the pain turns into anger
the thirst for revenge
to make others feel the way they felt
I'm not saying it's right
just that I understand
I've been there too
but I made it out
and you can too

Heart racing,
Legs pacing,
Brain wired,
I am so tired.

Can't keep still,
I want to shout,
STOP!
It's getting on top,
Need to switch off,
Close everything down,
Before I breakdown.

So go lay down,
Close my eyes,
BUT
Images project through my mind.
like a TV,
Don't even watch TV,
How is this fair?
In overwhelming despair,
Where is the switch,
To turn off all of this,

Not asking for much,
Just to put on the brake,
To come to a still,
Before the next hill,
TO
Regenerate,
Refuel,
Renew,

To go again,
In the fast lane,

I watch the waves
Wondering which one carries me away
To the land of legendary race
The place of solitary braves
Of spellbinding beauty
Of paradisiac height
Waves that carry me away
To the span of nightingale's lay
To the afterlife of stars
We are but rabbits running unaware
In the forests and meadows of years
Confused by the scheme of stay
Enduring the magnets of Fate
The stairway of needs
They fight over petty things
She refuses to be quenched
He draws back inch by inch
The evening stretches its arms
Tolling the bells of light
Scooting over for twilight
Darkness hides the mighty Sun
Trailing the mysteries of moonlight
Did our fathers know about the divorce
The separation of Love and Force
Their involution in Devil's course
Original Sin is the doctrine of religion
Controlling pulse of partridge and pigeon
I swim upstream, move against the wind
Taking refuge in impossible dreams
Hoping to unearth the magic of wings.