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i can’t tell if i’m
broken or not.
am i okay?
is thinking of ending myself
just a reflex
as this point?
a coping mechanism
that fills the space
that the absence of sadness
leaves blank.
do i want to die,
or do i simply
want to sleep?
am i just tired?
overreacting?
depressed?
did i finally crack and spill over?
am i empty now?
What is this clarity that I hold?
Is it that the value of all else
Has equilibrated?
Silence
Silence in my thoughts
In my mind
In my heart
In my room
In my relationships
In my mess
Silence.

It is possible that this is the
Drawback of water
Before the tsunami slams
A moment of silence
Surrounded
By the wake of a storm
I didn't go looking for you
You found me
The two of us meeting
Was a stroke of serendipity.

The story of two lovers
That could never be
Is a perfect description
Of you and me.

I'd listen intently
As you'd recite
Never ending stories
Of all the girls you liked.

Tell me why don't you
Why it cannot be me
My unconditional love for you
Is something you cannot see.

I hope one day you realize
That I'm the one for you
Darling you are my wonderwall
But you haven't got a clue.
you shouldn't have asked me how i felt
or i shouldn't have lied and said "this isn't the right time"
i know i shouldn't
and now i'm thinking about it
about how i'm pushing everyone out of my life
because you broke my heart into a hundred pieces
and it took me decade to fix every slab into the other
i shouldn't have made you leave
i know i shouldn't
i heard things about bad endings
and to me it always looked like you leaving
how do we become so alone

so distant

that we only appreciate love
as a tragedy in a play
a death in a poem
the ghost of a lover

who stole

then betrayed our heart

and even through the pain
of their crimes against us
we still miss their lips
and their breath
and their lies of love

what is so warm
about the comfort of solitude
that we forget
how to feel lonely

in our bones
in our blood
in our hearts

that we no longer lust
for companions
for friends
for any kind of desperation

were has the misery gone
were did we misplace
the fire and the rage
the want of need
the need to be needed

how far can we go
how much distance will it take
until we remember
that love is more

than tragedy and death
more than a tool
of the playwright
and metaphor for the poet

that it is not only the memory
of ghosts who no longer
need our needing

that we need not be so alone

so distance from love
that we forgot to feel lonely

in our bones
in our blood
in our hearts

and if nothing else
we can always be
alone together
so we never forget
to appreciate
the beauty of love
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