I wish I could find some poetic rhyme for you, but I can’t.The words flow, but not  this is not perfect. I feel like some cliché country song. I mean, man when your lips touch mine, it is pure ecstasy. Your kiss takes me to a completely different place. Your kiss, your touch is more addictive than anything else that can be manufactured. No drug, no amount of alcohol can make me feel the way you do. No high compares to the high I get when I just feel your presence. When you hold me in your arms, the world melts away. Your voice sooths the pain in my heart.  When I’m with you, nothing else even matters. Nothing but you my queen. You are perfect, from the way you carry yourself, to your perfect physique. You are a goddess in my eyes. I wish I could put it more in words but I really can’t. You deserve more than I could ever think of in words. No words can say how I feel about you in my heart. I’m writing this right after seeing you tonight. YOU ARE PERFECT.

Isn't it astounding how often we connect to others,
Yet we spend the entirety of our lives searching for ourselves?
We can find nothing but perfection in the flaws of others
But when we look in the mirror all we find is disappointment
In others, we see the potential of success in person we barely know
Yet all our hard work seems frivolous because we are blind
We can love someone with the whole of our heart, break ourselves
For someone who wouldn't think to remember your name
How is it that our harshest of judges is ourselves,
But we forgive others without the request of an apology
When did we learn that to love ourself is to conceited?
When did we learn to be modest is to degrade ourselves?

Do I regret the night my world changed?
I guess the simple answer should be yes,
But in fact, I wish it had been my last.

Now I know what people claim.
Do you know how lucky you were?
But I do not find that night luck.

I guess in my heart I somehow knew.
I had this gut feeling something was wrong,
Yet I chose to be there anyways.
Why? You may ask, and really
I do not have answer. Or do I?

I felt myself spiraling down the rabbit hole.
Though, this is something I cannot
Fully comprehend or fathom.
For once in my life I had everything.

Success, great grades, a car
Diploma at 17, college fully paid
Finally my father cared, or did he?

I think to myself it is my self destructive
Nature. Deep down, I cannot accept love.
I know this now, for every time I get close
I find a way to sever ties.

Maybe it is from a life of deception,
Manipulation, abuse, fear, loneliness,
Abandonment or was it the lies?

Was it the constant promises, promises
I knew deep down were bottomless pits.
I used to believe I was strong, but I learned
Pain changes people. It has a way of altering
People into the very person they swore
They would never become. I became my own fear.

Now all I can think about is the bliss.
I beg for the bliss I felt that night.
The same bliss that came with a screech.

I can’t remember the incident,
But I still feel it deep in my bones.
I feel the rattle inside my head,
I hear the shouts from people all around.
There’s this faint sound of metal crashing around me.

It’s pitch black but I smell something terrible.
Burnt rubber, smoke, no something else?
My head is pounding but I’m numb.

All around people are urging me not to move.
My vision is blurred, there’s broken glass.
I can’t moved, I can’t breathe, unable to think.
To my side, I see my airbag deployed, yet I
Still can’t comprehend what has happened.

This all just feels like one of my nightmares.
I think to myself, any moment I will wake up.
My door won’t open, why won’t it open?
Dizziness engulfs me and blackness consumes me.

I awake to bright lights, but I can’t hear.
Hands hold me down, but who are these people?
I look at my leg wrapped in a makeshift cardboard cast.
I try to move it, I tear at the tape, but I’m detained.

Panic seeps in, was I in a crash. My breaths come
More and more shallow. Waves of pain crash against me,
Suddenly I drowning in what ifs and confusion.
Did I **** someone? What have I done?

It was in this moment I took my last breath. I hear
Beeping around me, as my vision starts to blur.
There’s panic in the voices of each EMT. There’s pain
In my chest but I don’t fight it. I accept it with open arms.
The pain turns into a rush of relief throughout my veins.
Soon my vision fades, along with the voices of the people
Around me. Then everything is silent and I am at peace.

Now I think to myself, why didn't they leave me be.
Why couldn't I forever feel the bliss of that night?
Why did I have to wake up, why can’t I go back?
So in a sense, no I do not regret this Father’s Day.

I’ve come to believe I’m not the person I once thought I was
I never understood how you could treat me so harsh,
Then again everyone does
I’m the person everyone turns to when they to put the blame
And if all that everyone says is true, I’m better off without this world,
And the world without me
“She’s just getting better; she doesn’t need you to ruin everything”
“Only after talking to you does he go do crack, cuts himself, or goes off drinking”
“It’s best he never talks to you, and we’ll make sure that happens”
“Everyone has better things to do than to worry about your petty problems,
The world will still turn without you”
“What are you going to do? **** yourself”
“You’re just going to ruin tonight, like you ruined your mom’s life”
“I have to be high just to be around you”
“Maybe I’d still love you”
“She was always better than you”
“You’re too ****** up, nobody will ever love you”
“This only happens when you’re around”
“You’re stupid, how could you be so ******* stupid!”
“You make everything about you”
“You will get far less in life than you think you will”
“You just being there makes things worse”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have been such a *****”
“Everything that happened was because of you”
“You’re so disgusting”
"If you're going to **** yourself, get it right the first time,
Don't leave me the pain of you failing"
If all that they say is true, then maybe it’s time to say goodbye..