If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,

but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

Maybe we're all just waiting
for the train to come into the station
for the paint to dry
for a rainfall in the desert
for him to make the first move
for tomorrow
but
sometimes the train is late
the paint gets smudged
the heat dries up every drop in the sky
he's too scared
and tomorrow never comes

He is a beautiful disaster
everyone wants to be a part of his mess
tan skin
jet black hair
a grin like measles
contagious but extremely dangerous
he might as well be wearing a red stop sign
and millions of hazard lights
one touch is all it takes
to be under his spell
munipulation at its finest
i did believe at one point
we could become a gorgeous clamity
the i began to realize more and more
he may not be like the rest of us
in the sense that he knows exactly what he wants

Here I lay, trapped in dismay, the waters rising, I've lost my way, you've run from me, I knew you'd flee, I wish you'd seen the good in me.

I know I am broken, the cracks I can see, I should've tried harder to be who you need, that person is gone, a life lost at sea, you know who I am now, you know the true me, you must understand that this love cannot be, for i am the demon and the demon is me.

I was pushed today,
farther than I have been in many years.
I felt no tears, nor fear. I was aware.

pressure within was building
and needed to get out.
though I knew I could control it.
I did, with a slight jab of the fist.
though I only hurt myself.
I realize there is still some anger to be dealt
with, I am a work in progress.

though this pressure also allowed me to
know, that I am my best bet. I am
the one capable of maintaining it,
this beast within.
I tell her what to do.
I push through.
I teach her how to act.

Its a delicate balance where I
have much room to develop,
what else are these days for?
what else could this time here be to show?
I've asked for my days, the why.

though I think its coming to me,
not in entirety though enough
to piece something up.
its these moments, these fluxes
of space.
its when I feel something and I wish
for another thing to take place.
its control of the fire I burn with.
I burn within, few seem to know.
fewer are burned by me.

I burn, into the night and well past the day.
I burn, the intensity always keeps pace
and there is a balance on most days.

though today, I did pretty well.
there was a moment when I turned my
head to the west,
I glanced and the sun captured me.
I was caught in its glare.
then I felt the peace again.
I knew what I had to do.
time to give birth again,
a new me awaits.

.
I think I may have just died
looking in to your almond eyes.
Cedar hues of beige and brown,
for me such beauty in which to drown.
Chestnut and umber, darker shades,
silently dissolve my barricades.
Soft bark pastels of hazel and fawn
delicately hold my heart reborn.


© Pagan Paul (09/02/17)