We're vagrant hearts and bruised souls.
Our veins are woven
into discolored skin,
pale and iridescent
in the sunlight.
The starbursts of the twinkling sky
smile with white fire,
and they singe their own vicinity,
burning for a thousand years.
We're tattered limbs
and vanquished hope
sinking gasping, grasping
each other with desperate hands.
And drowning.
We're drowning in mist,
unraveling into shreds.
Our satin blue eyes
are losing their fluorescence
fading into transparency.
Our stitches snip
and we're tearing down into ribbons,
our fragile bones
breaking into glass fragments.
We're scarring each other
with our broken edges.
And shattered.
We're lying shattered
on sunburnt snow,
lit on ice,
reflecting a frost
that reverberates us with frigidity
I refuse to seep through.
We're broken nuummite hands,
desperately trying to touch someone
with numb fingers.
And opaque.
We're opaque and slashed
with unknown colors.
We're almost alive in their hues.
We're ghosts lingering without eyes
because we lost our destination
in last millennium's landslide.
And crying.
We're crying with tears
that seem so much like anguish.
We're blasting through emptiness,
dropping upon nightmares.
Losing the light in an indestructible tornado.
And torn.
We're torn with ripped capillaries,
with dead stars sewed into my lungs
and they're full of ash
and I swear,
I swear I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.  
I don't know about you
but you seem so much like lifeless.
A lost piece of you
sunk to the bottom
and buried in dust,
a lost piece that was your heart.
And how could you be alive
without a heart?
I wonder if I'm scattered
across this ocean floor
seeing you through fissured irises,
A distorted ray of sunlight
I can no longer touch.
A numb frame I can no longer
call my own.
I'm no longer alive.

This life is all greed,
hatred, anguish, joy,
betrayal, hope, hurt,
loss, deaths, failures,
luxury, pain, happiness,
melancholy, helplessness,
habits, hobbies
and a curse called love.
It's called love
because they named it wrong.
We're cocooned in paper thin walls,
tearing through
and ripping them apart
and stitching them again
when they see our dark sides.
We're sunburned
and blue-veined,
and the recrudescence
of these scars spills
nothing but blood —
frozen blood
breaking into incandescent shards.
And we're bleeding,
we're bleeding with tears
and we're bleeding with screams
and we're a destruction
destroying others
and destroying ourselves.
We're a wave of hate
swallowing those
with a difference.
Gray haired people
tell us we're too young
to know the world,
but they won't ever see
the rivers like we do.
They tell us
the sky is colored blue
but our wild imaginations wonder
if sky could be pink and green,
and it is.
Where we shattered,
the pieces are still lying there.
Someone else picks them up
and solves the puzzle we are.
Some breathe
with broken hearts
and some walk
without leaving footsteps.
We are so different,
all of us,
looking back again and again
and again
and hoping again,
and we wonder all the time,
what I would be like to exist
in a different place.
Somewhere far away
from this present
spreading darkness
until we're blind —
so blind that we forget
what light feels like.
In the end though we'll
know we're fallen.
We're fallen faiths
and fallen dreams.
We've fallen into a phoenix called life.
We're different.
Maybe it's time we accept.

As I strolled through the park
A very small boy was having a lark

A very small boy on a very small bike
Flying past nearly in the ****

As I came back from the store
He was going faster more and more

He flew past me like a bat out of hell
I jumped off the path and nearly fell

As he disappeared from sight
I wondered would he be all right

I heard a man putting ladders up outside
Probably to clean the gutters
He suddenly appeared at my window
"Hello" he said
"I'm Father Christmas
I'm just practising"

Think of me at dusk when stars
Cast the world in the light of night
When trees are washed in Selene's milk
And dreams are born in cream and white
Think of me when the morn rises
To the hum of feathers in a choir
When the sky's ablaze with scarlet shades
As dawn rides her chariot of fire

Think of me in waves of water
That arch to touch the golden grains
In woodlands sylvan, calm and quiet
Or in the music of the rain
Think of me in glens and meadows
Along silver streams and brooks that sprint
In gardens of lavender blue
And orchards tinged with fuchsia pink

So think of me, my love, think
Think of my love - so true
One day hoping you might love
Just the way that I love you

Girl in pretty pretty colours with her hair all wild and bleach yellow like sunflowers, dress to her knees and a sunday school smile, she knew all the right ways to be young. Easier at 8 for a little girl to kiss her daddy's cheek and talk like a happy hurricane, easier to be weak and cry at all the right times, to grit her teeth at the gravel in her palms. Then boys became glasses of lemonade and she always poured too fast in her haste to be told she was pretty pretty in grey no matter that she didn't smile. She wanted them to love her anyway. When colouring pages became subjective and the colours she chose dejected, she gave up on that solidity and dove from the ledge that was innocence. Little girl became a vanilla queen of lies and solitude, loving the boyfriend with the razor blades for hands who only persisted to cut her open and ingest her youth. Girl is older now and sees memories like black and white photographs except the ones that are scored in red crosses and 'take your shame like pills, slide your fingers like a gun against your forehead.' She doesn't want to be alive but she doesn't want to be dead, for the sake of that father she used to kiss goodnight and the mother she remembers in a blue t-shirt with oven cleaner smeared on her left cheek. It's almost enough to make her smile again, thinking of the time the moon had come down from the sky to hold her heavy head to his chest, almost enough to be one more reason to stay. But not quite.

Yell into my mouth the instructions for caramel,
please mishka,
my insides don't feel sweet, they're bottles of painkillers eaten with a raw hunger swelling and grazing all my skin. I feel pretty with you
and entirely worthwhile
but here
and here and here
I still hurt.

Your loveliness was never warm ginger in my stomach, it was the lily scent
to cover my decay.

Don't wait, I'm not coming home.
Someday you'll forget me
and I'll forget you.
Don't search for me,
I'm lost.
This emotion is absurdly bitter,
biting into my paper veins; gnashing.
You won't know where I've bled.
Someday, you'll forget my voice
and I'll forget yours.
This moment is a void
flooding with intangible vacuum.
My lungs are ripped open,
did you know how it feels to die?
Don't forget we counted stars
of the starless sky.
I'm drowning but it doesn't matter,
it's not like I can breathe
anymore anyway.
Don't forget you used to tell
bedtimes stories to ghosts
when you thought I fell asleep;
with your hand in mine
the way sun fits into skies
that are not his home.
The miles I've walked away
mean nothing because
I'll turn around and run to you again.
Don't forget I gifted you
the other half of my dream
because you said
you could never dream.
Someday I'll forget
the touch of your fingertips
against mine
and you'll forget mine.
I'm a kaleidoscope spinning
without direction,
shattering and falling
into shards
like a screaming avalanche.
I'm glacial bones,
someday you'll forget
the coldness of my eyes
and I'll forget yours.
The azure of the sky merging
into orange of sun
is only because
they've learned
to be together
and conjure another color.
You and I are oil paints
splattered on black canvas,
a dark vastness
they can't measure.
Someday I'll forget
the number of your scars
and you'll forget mine.
You're stubborn and beautiful,
you'd say you want to take a dive
into the clouds and fly into cliffs.
We're inverted images,
never fitting into each other.
But you're in the mirror
and I'm stumbling into the void.
But you're eyes are still cerulean blue,
mine are still emerald green.
I'll never forget
the soprano of my voice
melting in the tenor of yours.
I'll never forget touch
of your fingertips
through glass doors
or concrete walls.
You'd forget that I still remember
when you told me I'm so deep.
I'm so deep, I drowned you
and you're still gasping for breath,
even after all these years,
I'd know you'll never forget
the precise lengths of my scars.