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Jxsper Nov 2020
Are you home?
I want to beg you to sleep with me,
touch my hair,
my cheeks.
I don't think
you want me like I want you.
Jxsper Jun 2020
I want to say goodbye first this time,
can i hang up the phone on the giving end?
smash it down,
no ****** fingers or wincing.
If I cared less I could
i would've forgotten your name already,
if i could.
love is a wreck, always.
that's what it means, to be in pieces.

to love to absolute
                                              *******
pieces.
Jxsper Mar 2020
i am the rain child
it always rains when i need it to
-
god whispering down
“iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouipromise”
Jxsper Sep 2018
I feel for you
halfheartedly,
over the phone.

Are you trying?

--

I'm in your t-shirt
pulling dreadfully at the creases in my sleep
burying myself so I cannot breathe
to seek some of last week's
comfort.  
Maybe I don't want to be here if you're not.

--

I have been so lonely, 'I miss you' is the mouth of the well.
Jxsper Sep 2018
Closet cold,
no closure in the dark,
I wait and wait
in silence,
for some kind of
curtain call.

The dog sighs at my feet,
asleep rolling eyes around,
does anyone
see me at all

And would it matter
Jxsper Jun 2018
A pair of shorts,
two cord strings entangled
and the pattern
my mother's hands shook
gently
to draw;
cities,
a landscape,
a cross.
"I have no eye for art,"
she'd say,
but my mother's hands
made something for him, a husband,
The Husband,
and he wore them for a while.
Perhaps childish,
the colours slightly faded,
maybe her devotion
embarrassed,
I don't know,
but he pushed them to the back
of the cupboard in a corner of their
bedroom.

My mother is unhappy,
she doesn't know it,
or why,
but maybe it has something to do with
those shorts on the shelf
collecting dust.
Jxsper Mar 2018
All we do
is say the same words
in a different order
in a different language.

I say,
I don't want to eat,
I say,
I hate myself

i say
i'm so tired
i say
i want to die.
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