There’s a hammer in my heart,
Maybe a ticking time bomb
I don’t know which,
But something deep inside me
Is counting down
Or breaking open my chest
All I know is the feeling
That I get when I lie in bed
Your memory a ghost
Still holding me in my sleep
I wake only to a constant timer
And a horrid, rhythmic thumping
In my rib cage
That will never leave

i wonder if you knew it was too perfect.
i wonder if you knew we were skeletons desperately clinging to lifeless clumps of cold flesh, plastering it onto bone after bone, trying to build a romance in a graveyard.
i wonder if you knew it was too perfect.

//

under the neon lights of the bar near your place,
your pale skin breathed with new life,
your blue lips blossomed pink.

every touch sent shockwaves.

we collided,
but not in the ugly way we often did.
this time it was beautiful.
it had to be.

//

i remember leaving that night,
feeling sick to my stomach,
and i’d imagine you did, too.

i hadn’t known until then that sadness and joy could sail on the same ship.

//

still i wonder why we so often crave perfection,
why we long for the saccharine taste of another’s lips.
it all ended up tasting too bitter for me, anyway.

//

under the neon lights of the bar near your place,
your pale skin breathed with new life,
your blue lips blossomed pink.

every touch sent shockwaves.

//

i still think of you,
a ghost trapped in those flashing lights.

but somehow it feels right that we are only just a memory.

(a.m.)

How shall I move forward
When I'm neither heartbroken
Nor happy?

*The ink that poured from my soul
Has been stolen by this drought.