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I used to find comfort
In darkness,
Silence,
Isolation.

But now your presence follows me
Through the night.
You cast silver shadows on my walls,
Ghastly fingers reaching for
The windowpanes

Trying

Desperately to break in.

Even the thickest of curtains
Can’t keep you out.

I am never alone
A sliver of light
Is always there
Reminding me
You are
Here too.
As the waters broke above to find me in a sea of love, an ending though beginning where creation is the spectre, and the loneliness of death appeared, flowing gently on these lips which arched for tastes of summer mornings but the shadows overruled me in their wanting and their wisdom,
I swim alone.  


When night is but the journey, it matters not the destinations, creation and its spectres follow me through unlit carriages and lights are set to blind me with the countenance of sorrow but this man knew sorrow many moons ago.

Each stroke brings me much nearer to the strobe lights in the garden and if nights are never ending, tell me why the lights are blinding me, is this the sea I set sight on one bright and early morning,
all alone?

So
I live or die and end it or begin it and go through it, the difference being the journey and the knowing how to do it, when the waters break above me and I find that I am swimming with the tide.
Surrounded by friends
A welcoming hug lingers
Filled with what ifs
Uncomfortable for some
Warmly welcomed by others
Conversations fueled by
Wine, beer, and martinis
The comfort of acceptance
Non-judgmental reception
Imagining what’s not said
Some thoughts you can read
Others arise unbidden tongue-tied
Accidental truth shared
Sheltered by laughter
We retell our practiced stories
Not noticing the kind
I’ve-heard-it-before looks
Oh to hear the late night summaries
The evenings score card
We sway from oh so silly to
Pugnacious
We may have crossed lines
We never saw and wouldn’t have cared
If we did
The words I'd like to tell you...
All the things I'd like to say...
I've decided they're simple
Let me put it this way:
I love you
I'm sorry
I miss you
Don't hurt me
Please
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