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 May 2014 Olivia Mercado
Curtis
Where is my creativity
It flowed so easily
Like a river flowing steady
Now like a block of iron
Heavy
The Realized thinks:

flesh and the blood demands
you spew your stuff in me,
deny me nothing
even as I am sleep full,
thy cravings grow fuller, not fewer
craven not I,
to demand my satisfaction in the
rendering of yours

for you are of my flesh eaten
for you are of my blood tasted
tho the universe placed a spatial divide,
an atmosphere tween our celestial bodies,
t'is a temporary condition,
you are but moon slivered,
man half if not just quartered,
less than whole,
when disjointed and not inside
the incontestable undivided me of us

the Other Seductress
easy teases with adagios and pinprick words,
offering lifelong immortality  -
words like fish in nets,
loaves of bread,
that will
fill souls with insight long after
the physic man's grave site location forgotten

your muse, she bemuses:

I can make
you come and
make you
go
multiples of multiples nightly,
ripping your word seeds from your body
the pleasure insane, your mind enflamed
even now in the air above this planet your earth,
I am your mile high and river deep,
you belong to me and spill the verbal deeds,
your art is mastery more than
any physical sweating
of blood and sweat or tears


the other laughs and counterclaims
that all that is promised is but a mere secondary
derivative of who you are when you
whisper excitedly I love you
and this belongs
to me and no other!
where is your immortality better scribed
when your issue is woven in the tissue
of two, for you are only one when realized
your self conception nightly reborn in me

it is I that feeds your eyes,
your vision delights in me and thereby
you give birth to the art that makes
Who You Are
who you are,
for all clear all unconfused when
your soul stiffens and a single truth
are your emboldened by, and that
truth is real and is my temple
where carnal is incarnate
and you reincarnated in every way

the long haired and ever young muse
in ire arises and finger pointing a j'accuse,
says I am your eternity, the self same
that you existence demands be satisfied

only I, only I,
can provide the living will
that will exclude the black and the worm of ignominy,
place your time shopped physicality
in a state of perfect preserved beauty,
I am the mother of thy art,
the if of thy futured existence proofed,
I, thy future and the
***** that makes you beg
more, more and gives the birthing to all
your multiplicities,
never questioning, receiving all,
the good, the bad, the psalm, the ditty, the prayer,
loving best the most
ordinary


*whom did he choose
whom does he choose,
whom will he choose,
the tenses answer all
and in all, lies the answer
On the descent into LaGuardia
 May 2014 Olivia Mercado
nivek
blob of mercury
flat level
with boats
sunk up to
gunnels
mirrored images
the colour red
into the silver
shining
shapes of shore
buildings upside
down
half way along
running
our inlet
singular calls
pierce the deafness
in this morn
of a man
going insane
with
sleepless
I wanted to
give you the world
but all I have
are these
two small hands
and they
only hold so much
Shh

my eyes
    are heavy

and

my heart
   is heavier
You say life is but a dream.
Well then when will I wake up?
I'm tired of living in this lie.
This fantasy.

You've diluted these waters I swam in.
You've poisoned my sweet serenity.
How could you ever look me in the eyes and tell me the truth?
You have drowned me in my own existence.

I'm struggling to wake from this nightmare.
I can barely tell right from wrong all while I'm trying to right the wrong you've perpetrated against me.
I'm struggling to resurface.
You constantly hold my head under while I drown away.

And now I've become the deadpool.

So come and take a swim.
Sometimes, I just wanna put on a mask and scare you.
Morning woke me with aching fingers and the burdensome weight of you heavy on my mind. Holding my guitar and fumbling over every note, I imagine you. Your eyes gazing over me in a crowd, as if I was invisible - until the music effortlessly plays from my fingertips, singing each word in harmony, my heart on my sleeve. I imagine you…noticing me.

Hours have passed and the sun has long left, replaced by a cold breeze and a dark starless sky.

I lay my guitar down beside me, my fingers numb and calloused, realizing that somewhere between morning and now I had lost you, the crowd, …the imagined moments. But, in the midst of the music, the repetitive strums and voicing my soul alongside every chord, I found myself.

*Tonight, I will sleep peacefully
Dear Houston,
does the waterbug
skittering
at the bottom of the pond,
searching
for a meal or a lay,
think that the waterlogged cardboard box
floating
saggy on the surface
is a small planet or a constellation?
Is the plastic grocery bag an Oort Cloud?
When the waterbug rolls
helpless
in underwater currents
that she can't understand, is the
swirling dust, and feathers, and leaves,
a whirling Milky Way
to her?
Is the audible rumbling of the highway the voice of the universe?
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