Remembering the days I didn't have you in my life
is something of a struggle and a game unto my sight
My rapid moving eyes can see until the lids are closed
and everything that happens then is etched into my bones
But what about the pen that wrote your name so many times
along the very person I am being in my mind
I want another hand to wrap its fingers in my own
to tell me I am present and will never be alone
I thought I would have heard it but perhaps I wait in vain
your silence is a phantom that once danced around my brain

If I could slip away I'd choose to hold you 'til the end
and beg for your attention like the tragedy of men
There's something to be said about the effort we we put in
but it amounts to nothing when we realize our skin
The lessons come in pieces and the the puzzle always was
we put it back together or we make another one
I'd rather lay my cards among the weeds and let them choke
and call them as I see them, you're not all that I have known
So even if emotions and the thought of you remain
I'll take you in like winter, let the cold run through my vein*s

The hours pass and n o th ing moves my senses anymore
I sit inside my sleepless head behind a swinging door
The road is long, my feet are cold and breathing seems to be
The only thing that I can do to let you go of me
For what my words have done to us I may not ever know
But if I had to guess I'd say they turned you into snow
It will not melt again until I put you in the past
And hold myself above the things I didn't want to ask
Where there was once a human life there stands a figurine
An artist came and left me here to eulogize the scene

you've talked about the many things that plague your lonely heart
how someone came into your life and made you fall apart
And what a difference it had made, the process of the loss
that in its stage of infancy alone was winter's frost
and coming out of sleeping spells that claimed you for so long
you somehow found a way to write an ending to the song
I saw you here inside of me and watched you walk away
I wanted this, I wanted you, I hoped that you would *stay

the balms and palms and all of what you ever were to me
are only visible to those who thought they couldn't see
I want to tuck my life away in someone else's hands
but cannot bring myself to trust that yours could ever stand
the weighted breath, the solid sea of saltiness we lack
I left because I didn't know if you were coming back
and here I sit, a question mark made perfect in my pain
I want to ask if I can stay but I just feel insane
it takes no time to feel you here beside my lonely soul
I wish you well and myself too, I'll wait to let you go