Olga Valerevna

Oct 2015

Julie Butler

enter

I like to
sit with it in days
that way
I'm not driven insane

& you're so easy to remember
the way I love you like winter
you're early November

but those are only seasons
and seasons
they pass
& I'm sad but
so grateful
slow memories last

I won't bash or
be hateful
I like what we had

You held
my hand and my head
& I'm okay with that

>|< Julie Butler

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

The Mine Fields

and everything familiar that exists beneath the sun
Has gathered in the middle of the human I've become
I spend my days reflecting on the stories in my head
And they can be as heavy or as light as I will let

I'm more than I can handle when I fail to fall apart
And what I have been learning is the honesty of art
That glass is in my fingers and it shatters at my feet
But I will keep on walking so as not to miss a beat

The gardens and the valleys, they are hardly strange terrain
And even when the stones are thrown there's everything to gain
The healing in the breaking is the sum of what is true
For sometimes I can carry, other times I'm carried through

conversations with my mother

#mother #mine #fields

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

And a time to

if you look into a person
and ask to see their soul
they may not grant you access
but if they do, you'll know

the act of being earnest
will frame the way you ask
and if you are intrusive
you'll never stand a chance

my mother often told me
don't plan the words to say
but give them to The Maker
and trust them all away

you were not born to live there
in other peoples' minds
so wake with only purpose
to see with eyes of time

let's gather up the curses
and scatter them to death
replace them with the beauty
in every single breath

in faith I find the meekness
to bring these words to life
let anyone who hears them
sleep soundly through the night

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

#faith #time #vera

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

Sign off or sleep in

have I become
the the person life
could not compare
to anyone

or am I in
my solitude
the lonely ghost
of everything

I will not blame
the maps I see
for I have drawn
them all the same

there is no sense
to what I've done
and where I go
is but pretense

for what is truth
when facts exist
a bold design
that leads to you

I want to walk
the other way
but both my feet
have turned to chalk

and what I write
is right and wrong
the whitest black
the blackest white

cannot discern
which way is up
I'm out of here
a lesson learned

descending more
than I can take
to sleep it off
or stay awake

to wake or to sleep

#sleep #in #wake

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

I Rush In

I tied you upside me in a knot we can't undo
and patiently I wait for you beside the aging moon
through all of its eclipses and the phases we have seen
I find you in the daylight and the spaces in between
you're not as much aware of me as I would like to think
but when you talk in circles I will never let you sink
there's something in the water I was given long ago
that settles any longing we could ever care to know
I share what I was offered and accepted with my heart
the only thing I carry that will never fall apart
whatever has intruded is whatever we've allowed
a tangle with intentions to destroy us inside out

I am who we are.

#russian

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

The Runner's Code

There're stories I want to remember
and others i hope to forget
And time has a way of unveiling
the faces of all our regrets
If there can be only one lesson
then life will have shown it to all
But many of those who have seen it
have chosen to put up a wall
And all of the weight it can carry
is nothing in presence of light
It falls like the snow in December
the water that freezes at night
You're not at the end of the road yet
there's grace in the seasons to come
So what you expect of tomorrow
will catch you if you do not run

sometimes you need to stop

#stop #run

Olga Valerevna Oct 2015

And words are futile devices

What if November is different this year
and all of the pain in your eyes disappears
something about it seems possible now
the past comes to reckon the sorrow somehow
And all that once was is becoming the seed
to what we've been growing inside of our need
Like futile devices that anchored our souls
the only way out was to simply let go
The troubles that followed us into our thoughts
have nowhere to live when our bodies are not

title and inspiration taken from Sufjan Stevens', "Futile Devices"

#futile #devices