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Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
My desire exists
And it is what I say
I wanted affection
But not in this way

your face is a fire
I  cannot compare
To anyone present
For no one is there

And I am a shadow
Of figments like you
The sorry exposure
you will not undo

So come to the corner
And open the door
Let's be in the moment
We cannot ignore
inside is the outside
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
The sadness won't collect
unless you settle in its path
And let it move around you
to remember where you sat
There's nothing but a story
you were hoping not to tell
your mouth begins to open
and the words become themselves
These little deaths are part of
what you need to understand
This life is but a moment
you will carry in your hand
The binding's in the middle
where your heart can keep it safe
And hold it all together
when your mind is far away
Before you see your body
fall apart until it dies
you'll find the only solace
is the sorrow that's inside
Shalom
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
there's nothing but the traces of your person
of hands and feet that barely made it through
and sitting in your solitary sameness
you can't be bothered any less to move

the circles in the sun become your fingers
but rays of light they cannot be contained
to see the sky and all of its arrangements
you mustn't ever fight the pouring rain

the wind is only present if you feel it
it changes every shallow thread of flesh
you know it isn't over for a reason
the purpose for your life has never left
even if you leave
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
Remember disappearing, feeling smaller than I should
Suppressed my good intentions in the dark because I could
And when I looked inside at all the emptiness I kept
I fell apart completely, watched my being as it wept
But somewhere in the nothingness my face had reappeared
Began to change the present to a past I once revered
With all of my distractions having walked the other way
I opened up my heavy eyes to greet another day
I'm here to be a part of everything that can be seen
But that is only half of what the morning is to me
Wherever there is vision there is also something more
An eye around the sun you couldn't possibly ignore
what you do not see can be seen
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
It feels as though I never knew the person you've become
A black and white chicanery that's breathing through your lungs
The only thing I think about is how this came to be
Forget the present as it were, there's nothing left to see
I must've spoke a thousand times but nobody could hear
I tried to make myself believe before you made it clear
Uncertainty would linger in the spaces you would go
And leave me with an emptiness that lived inside my throat
I had my words and you had yours, the conversation's changed
We may have once been lovers but our hearts are now estranged
miscellaneous
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
I layed beneath the summer sky
I took a breath, let out a sigh
And words from somewhere in my mouth
Released themselves into the clouds
I felt the dark upon my skin
Came there to try to settle in
With every limb I sought to be
Apart from what it did to me
I held my Spirit in my hands
It gently helped me understand
What I'd been seeking in my mind
Was everything I'd compromised
To smother light and hide my home
Had put me out where nothing glows
A single moment changed the way
I look at everything today
But just as I began to sink
I muttered words that turned to ink
The pen was never mine to hold
I gave it up and let it go
one terrible nightmare later
Olga Valerevna Jul 2015
Look at all the branches falling to your feet
Let them be a story for every heart that beats
Not about the breaking or laying on the ground
Rather more the tree that gave your life a sound
Stop with all the thinking in backward ticking clocks
Free the hands you're given and time will never stop
If you be a servant death will pass you by
Take you in the moment the world removes the sky
Parts of you are given, none of you impaired
Everything you're made of collected with you there
Chances are intruders if you fail to choose
Black and blue and broken, darker than a bruise
Fight the way it taught you, that little heart of yours
A Second Tree is waiting just as it was before
You are waiting
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