Care is weight
While we remain anemic
Observing my bedraggled face
You can tell we haven't been eating
We're just fading away

There’s some knowledge you need to hear of how I feel
I remember the images of my dreams and they’re all of you
I’m dealing with some demons and you’re helping me heal
I live in my own world, your eyes are my sun and field
I always look to women with respect when carrying the shield
Loss is the leash on my depression as we’re increasingly real
Seeing you crumble is a weight but your stories are heard
Please feel assured, because I care for you the most
And I need you in every sense of the word
You are the vision in every poem I’ve ever wrote
Anger can’t defeat the distance or keep us afloat
Keep relieving my pressure to maintain the goal
My conscious is only in-line when you speak your soul
We’re taken somewhere we have never been before
Everything has an end, but at least peak through the door
Only time will tell whether my choices were wrong
Either way, where I’m going, I’m taking you along

In a skin of pink that would blossom into thoughts
Conjured confidence incessantly walks the sidewalk
Leaving you with little else but a trail of smoke
Exposed and relentlessly reeling from across

Forever, you will haul
Against the murus
Against the wall

Go on ahead
Kick white shadows
Until they play dead
Kick us to the truth
The tenderfoot's news
Wait until my lungs cave in
My lust for it is blatant
Tell all the worst lies
Can tuck it all inside
Run to a counterlife
Take your last supply
Leave home behind

Forever, you will haul
Against the murus
Against the wall

You don't know how it is for me now
Yes you closed the meaning a while ago
But I still think it wasn't an honest mistake
I know you want to overtake everything
Dictate the world
This world is cold enough to freeze space to darkness
Regardless of your heartless body
Flowerless and colorless world you're in
I want an apology
How can we communicate
Without Intimidation
You're intoxication was an honest mistake
Disintegrating our life
Eliminating our consciousness
Navigating to another choice to be chosen
You can't restart but you can rethink
Sorry about hesitating
It was an honest mistake

Her
Face is dreamy
Her
Body is naked
Silhouetted by a marbled bra
Draped in thick sheets of plastic
His fingers dancing, dervish-like
Across me
Smiling her coyest smile
She stands, dazed, off on my shoulder
Her hair like lily of the nile
Now she's
Taking off her sunglasses, slowly
Rocking in unison
Arcing back and forth
Like a mad pendulum
A hand covering her
Pink mouth
Her
Face stricken with fear
She gets up
She stumbles through
The thick wooden door
Soon to be
Blowing huge clouds
Of cigarette smoke
Feeling relaxed, if still a bit shaken
Looking down at the fire lit
Eyes red and swollen from crying
She ends the night with-
"I just need to use the phone"

In the backyard I strayed far, far along
It was bound to happen
You find your balance and start to tip off
Still you go on and on
Floating right by your flaws
Float by empty bottles when you scoff
I know its not my place
But you need to stay inside
Take time to recover from memory loss

I know it's not my place
but should you care about fame and pride
If you refuse to remain alive?
You should close your eyes
I'd press them with my cheek
You cannot live without the thought of genocide
Hold your ears and fall, fall asleep
The next pill when send you a hundred feet high
This time you won't trip off the peak

Morning
Touch the darkest shade of me, missing dads embrace killing me how i cant see my face, believed since my hikikomori
Always had a date, i'm attacked by fakes doing my years on this island praying for a quiet night and...
He was my friend and you played with his heart like its tennis, he's atrophied and doesn't have time to put in, disturbing the tranquility
Subtlety, with those flying white kites scarce of their integrity, if you feel that way i hope you're satisfied
Out the soul, i gotta focus on family problems while mommy making solid amity offerings
Back switch, no fraternity, no honesty just a couch covered in green, i'm the burgundy
Head lopsided, stomach growling. scanty pride, slim chance of lies from me
There's no worst feelin' then waking up and not knowing why you feel so empty, not hungry but G.A.D got me walking with a time limit
Only happy with a clutter of my nig's, don't sass when i'm hectic, two boxs of cig's now its getting mephitic
I'm pathetic, i know they said it, even though they're not looking my way, against it in sturgis, i misinterpret like this
Morning
Burdens on my skin, belly of her lungs, moms been smoking again, losing the negativity but choosing my belief
Throw my virginity off the balcony? cause everyone is into me? you must still be sleeping, you must still be dreaming
You're nineteen, said you're impressed by my aplomb and i try really hard even when you're on my phone, i apologized for my anxiety, for my inability to process equanimity
You're nineteen, i don't really care that you're older, i must be a loner? all i need is your closure, illegal so we gotta think it over
Of course i hate my foes, history repeats and that's how it goes, hearts gold when my soul is sold, brothers?man have plenty of those
sinking, drowning in life. overly suicidal holding my fathers rifle
Riddled from my past, tell the preachers and satan'll ask
Touch the darkest shade of me, missing dads embrace killing me how i cant see my face, believed since my hikikomori
I'm fifteen

Our first allision, in the offing
Nothing ever stuns the onlooker
Ripple out into meditative layers
We are a pair of choplogic ships
Blending in multiple narratives
I notice a splash of color, snapping
Your oceans' scenery is crystalline
With a high-tension passage
Rising tides grew like ivy
Issues are a grain of sand
Fluttering in the slight breeze
Are in my flaccid hand
Your tousled, bold-spry knees

I've learned every moment holds no perfection
Bottomless pit seemingly becomes frondescent
Rinsing out the dark without a resembling sire
I hope my never-resting time will lead to an ephemeral desire
Clutching at the straws whilst clutching a hidden phase
Until denial will untangle on a pale misselling display
Apparently you must pity the world or it'll belittle you
Mask me please, it'll be easier to talk to you
I'm quick to deny that opulence can help with coping
I'll run through barricades of questioning and the whispers roaming
In a gaudy spring, pondering on what door to knock on
Only to figure out that what I find attractive isn't fond
*All my burdens and all my fears will not be gone
I don't want to be a drag but
*For the first time in my life, I don't know where I belong

Thinking back I wasn't half bad
You made fun of my name
Saying its shamed
You have so many faces
You can be a real pain but you can mostly make up for it
You ignore your other faces
Everytime I bring It up you cant speak
You like listening to oasis
You said I might not like it
But I thought it was racist
And you're so dissuasive
We go through this on a regular basis
Turning the pages hoping we'd find a new solution

A Doubting Thomas
you are

You whim in silence
We are friends
Our sounds quiver
Odds and ends
Delude the tyrant
Places turn chromatic
You do remember
Cross paths, so static
A **** aspirant
Once had, oh tragic
Vessel in September

A Doubting Thomas
you are

Irresistible, a miracle, a mauler too immense
unpredictable, a character in color without sense
All things truly wicked start from an innocence
Apathy turns into an adventure
You're keenly perceptive, clean up my messes
I fear of illiterate creatures
I'm irrepressible when frantic
I just want some closure
Forgive me, I act like an infant
Put your fingers upon my shoulder
Tomorrow is a myth full of legends
We're free, and getting much older
From the tree, chilling to the tenements
From a doubting thomas to a menace
From the Sep' fourth to the fifth
Spoke with tentative sentences
I hope it ends

A Doubting Thomas
i am

Catching all my passions
To spend my living in eternal love
I've emptied all their fountains in my well,
And to pour your ocean all among
I reach my hand out to the frosted sun
With sighs I pass my burning lungs

I fall into the heaven's sea
by the trustless wings of false desire
As I stand on the heights of my life
With a glimpse of a height that is even higher

When you're up against the wall
I'll be there holding your hands
You will rest your weary feet
in the heaven's golden sands

You're outnumbered by those with a spiritual light that feuds the blight
You're in a field of solace behind monoliths that are loosely aligned
With every emotion that rushes through the rifts like mountains in the shrouds
You can reach your arm over the walls and latch onto monotonous sounds
God this is amazing, hand lingered on and became anonymous
Face is deep gray, possessed with the murderous incompetent
Living under a younger ruthless crowd of love but i'm improvident
Myopic thoughts are sleep-inducing but somewhat pastiche
Don't string yourself again, after yourself's disease
Because there is no farewell, once there's a leash

Cheap champagne, it trickles down my spine
Still clinging to the tree branches, into gold
Where everyone spent their time in nothing but mirth
Silvery voices cry
Over mountains bold
The spark is gone that was once alight
But I recall when times were much worse
She kisses the golden ring, embittered taste
Raised her cup and kissed her *****
They soon cleared a space round me, all seeming dismayed
Around my shoulders as they toss me back and forth
They hemmed in and direct their guns at my head
Soon to be dancing with green rings in the shore
Malevolence or serendipity lies ahead

It was short
I went over to the table
It was my only shot
My friends made me
I wanted to back out
It was important
Though I wanted to shout
I whimpered for a few
You tried to make me feel alright
But inside I felt chewed
I knew I was *******
And you spit me out
And you lunged me out of the socket
You threw me off your pocket
I felt locked up
Attached myself
And you detached me
I drought that knot in my heart
I feel wrong in the head
That was my one shot
And I missed you
That was the knot
And you untied me vastly