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N Nov 2016
endless sips
and countless
spinning
of bottles

silly dares
and frightening
truths

tired young
souls

binge drinking,
can't keep up
with the world
turning
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrWwtU7iyl0
---
N Nov 2016
they told me
to embrace life
but i can't
stretch my arms
any further

i'm afraid
that one day
i will just
lose it
and snap
and i will
hurt the both
of us just
  innocently standing
on opposite
ends
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxZ5B1lVXPc
---
  Nov 2016 N
Charles Bukowski
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.
  Oct 2016 N
Sylvia Plath
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a **** lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
0 my enemy.
Do I terrify?----

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
N Oct 2016
sorry for spilling your already cold coffee on the floor;
i just had too much caffeine that's why
my hands are shaky and my chest is banging.
and sorry for staring; i didn't mean to.
i was just trying to figure out how to survive
the next week with this little amount of money.
sorry for taking too long to answer;
i have a mind like an unmade bed.
also very sorry for not helping you carry
your stack of hardbound books, girl.
my cat fell asleep beside me last night  and
i didn't want to wake her up so i was stuck
in the same position for a good four hours.
sorry i'm blabbing.
what were you talking about so loudly again?
oh yes, the eternal traffic.
you'd rather waste your time being fixated
on the talking orange on tv spitting garbage
about non-whites, wouldn't you?
sorry was that mean?
oh, but did you hear somebody say
girls should take it easy on the make-up for a bit?
you know, because of the killer clowns and ****.
funny, right?

i want to bang my head against the wall already

what?
no, no, i'm seriously just kidding.

ah yes, finally.
the bell.
see you tomorrow.
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nydxbGhgv8
---
N Sep 2016
debussy softly playing in a dimly-lit room
i am watching the vinyl as it spins
and i can feel my head doing the same
only faster
my hair smells like peach and smoke
and you look like a hazy dream in your white shirt
mumbling about how we should've went
to that play instead of drinking
because we'd be sick in the morning
but you pour more alcohol into your glass and into mine
now all i taste is honey
as i get drunker and my giggles get louder,
smiles wider and hands braver
and maybe you're right
we should've just dressed nicely and went to watch
******* beowulf instead of playing russian roulette
because the bullet is supposed to bury into my head
so why does it feel like a cannon ball into my heart
every time you touch me and smile
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0kFqbg7VEw
--
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