I sought to pierce the astral screen
discover things which lay unseen

existence layers to strip and peel
all cosmic secrets to reveal

with book and spell I tore the veil
beheld all things beyond the pale

creatures that rule the land of Leng
ghoul’s midnight feast, the yellow king

fungi that steal and eat men’s minds
horrors made gods that sit enshrined

the gates of mortal souls open wide
to blasphemous things that crawl inside

I descry the future’s dark corridor
where the stars are an endless sepulcher

and now I know my folly’s curse
my reason slips, my thoughts perverse

I must escape and look away
lest in this charnel house I stay

but I cannot stop through act of will
my vision seeks, strains further still

the last recourse causes gorge to rise
I must be free from these hell born eyes

the knife clutched in my shaking hand
I gouge and stab my sight be ******

and for a moment I am free
but then I am brought to my knees

o’ gods of pain and fear abhorred
my sight but clearer than before

all vision now within my mind
I would bless who could make me blind

with eyes which cannot close or hide
forever gazing and open wide

nor even death will seal them shut
on these horrors my soul must glut

my body fades I cannot die
and eternally through madness fly

We met three times
Over fifteen years.
The disagreement paled
In light of his diagnosis.

He unexpectedly appeared
At my door, then stood in my kitchen.
He had a few serious questions
About brotherly affections,
And after spitting into my sink
(the poor man)
He wondered if I thought less of him
For not sending cards at Christmas and birthdays.
Is that what he came to say?

Next was at our last family wedding.
He was still steady on his feet.
We were five Irish lads.
The sisters said he was the handsome one.
He was.
There are six of us posing in this final shot.
He's wearing a Lucille Ball tie,
Losened around his neck,
Yet covering the gill-like scar
Running from lobe to lobe.
His hands are buried deep
In his pants' pockets.
His smile says Good-bye.

I saw him for the last time
A few weeks later,
Standing, bent and coughing
At the intersedtion of the roadway and Nature Trail.
His rib cage raging from contortions.
He waved off an offered ride.
And then he was gone.
It took us years to get here.

Thoughts, like whispers in the wind,
Sometimes carry burdens, hard to mend.
We speak our words, yet meanings bend,
For hearts and minds don't always blend.

To share one's thoughts, a risk it seems,
A vulnerability that often gleams.
Yet, honesty sometimes beams,
Like stars that shine, yet distant dreams.

We filter words, a calculative art,
To shield our souls, to manipulate each part.
But in our minds, a world apart,
A different truth, a separate start.

How can we bridge this frequency gap,
And find a way to truly grasp
The hidden depths and the monstrous scraps,
That lies beneath our saintly cap?

You once were here

You'd get unexplainable intuition allowing you to peer right into the depths of my soul

Eyes piercing as you perused aisles of my countless chaotic emotions

Hit hard with words I didn't ask you to say

Rubbed back of my spine like you were waxing a car
Firmly but so carefully

My head in lap but my mind in the gutter

Now hands aren't here to caress my edges anymore

We had moments of weakness but they are overshadowed by the brightness you blessed my dark world with

Drunken songs and Christmas presents and uttered compliments

But always time ends everything good
You were the greatest

a midnight stop around the Sun
-Burgers and Milkshakes

we bow down to distraction
some kind of appetite

nothing lasts for very long
except the hunger to live.

I don't know what the answer is
make a paper ball out of it
and hurl it my way
before they find out