IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU, IT'S THAT I ONCE MET A GIRL WHO RIPPED MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST AND IT'S STILL AN OPEN WOUND, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S THAT MY MOM STILL YEARNED FOR MY DAD YEARS AFTER HE WAS GONE, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S THAT YOU HAVE SWEET BROWN EYES THAT MAKE ME WANT TO HOLD YOU BUT I'M SCARED, SO ******* SCARED, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU, IT'S THAT YOU DESERVE ALL THE AFFECTIONS IN THE WORLD AND I'M NOT SURE I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING MORE THAN SIMPLY MEDIOCRE, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S THAT EVERY TIME WE SPEAK I'M ENTHRALLED BY EVERYTHING YOU SAY, ALWAYS LEFT AT A LOSS OF WORDS, AS IF ALL THE ONES I'D EVER LEARNED HAD SUDDENLY LOST IT'S MEANING, YET NO MATTER HOW BEAUTIFUL THE SENTENCES COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WERE, ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS MEETING THEM MID-SENTENCE, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU, IT'S THAT YOU'RE THE KIND OF GIRL THAT CHANGES LIVES, THAT DRIVES STARS AND BEAT HEARTS AND I'M INSANE, BUT ONLY INSANELY WANTING TO HOLD YOUR HAND, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S THAT WITHOUT YOUR COSMIC IMPORTANCE THERE'D BE NO POETRY TO BE WRITTEN, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU IT'S THAT THE LAST PERSON WHO TRIED TO FIX ME LEFT WITH CALLOUS-FILLED-HANDS AND NO ENCHANTMENT, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU, IT'S THAT I CAN'T

The word “****”
Is something kids should never have to learn
You should never have to know what is means
To be pushed down and have them forced upon you
Its nothing youth should know
Its nothing kids should know
Its nothing anyone should know
Its just a four letter word
Turned into a world of horror
Where the word “*****”
Gets thrown around at the wrong times
How did I ever bring this hell upon myself
When the clothes I was wearing were baggy
The shirt I had was collard
My pants were long, no holes
How did I scream out
“Take my innocence
Its okay I’m thirteen today”
Because I didn’t,
And if I do recall
I said the word “no”
So how does that give you the right to say
“Oh boys will be boys”
*He was no boy
He was almost twenty

every boy that has ever ran his fingers on my skin
crawled up from under my bed and invaded the darkness;
he pulled the blanket up over my shaking body,
and brushed his fingers through my tangled hair.

a creature of the night providing me comfort;
he laid his head on the empty side of my pillow
whispering into my hollow head,
signals which would flow through my dry veins
and start the pumping of a disintegrating heart.

his demons kept him awake at night
just as the monsters of my past have me;
his eyes were like a flashlight in the dark room,
this creature was my savior.

but morning comes and he is gone,
my troubles glisten in the sun -everyone runs.
you can't fix by morning what haunts you;
I only date monsters -they keep me company at night;
when my flaws come spilling out but not in bright light.

(NJ2014) All Rights Reserved.

All the once upon a time stories that end in happily ever after have the flawless handsome Prince charming who meets the sweetest princess or young maiden who becomes a princess after they marry (typically approximately 12 to 18 hours or so after they meet usually because the sweet young lady was rescued by the Prince because she was singing randomly and dancing around with woodland animals who do her laundry and she fell off of a tower or was attacked by some lady who literally has no job but spends her entire life just being evil for the sake of being evil and yet never starves to death despite the fact that her evil plots never actually allow her to aquire money or food of any sort.)
The girl is always polite
Everyone loves her
She usually has a waistline tinier than a flowerstem
And she sees the good in everyone
She is also gorgeous 100% of the time
Well I am NOT that girl
I can't alwaye be polite and perfect
I can't even be pretty
There are more people that hate me than there are people who can even tolerate me
I'm not the likable easy going type
I don't have a three inch waist (mainly because that is completely insane)
I can't find a way to like every person
I'm the jealous ugly stepsister Anastasia in Cinderella
I'm the wicked witch in the wizard of Oz
I'm the wolf in the three little pigs
I'm the hag in snow white and the seven dwarves
I'm not the princess in the story
But fortunately, I don't need to be because life is not a fairytale
And you don't need to be prince charming
Hell, you don't even need to be anything like the lists I make about what my dream guy should be like
Because really, since when do I know what I actually want?
I certainly am always wrong about what I need
So here's the deal
You love me for me, be loyal, care about me because of my soul first and my looks having nothing to do with it, you give me eternity,
And I promise you the same.
I don't need you to catch me when I fall off a tower
That doesn't really happen much
I need you to catch the little pieces of me when I fall apart because the emotions were all too much
I don't need a happily ever after
And you don't need to be prince charming
Because I am not a princess

Repost if you are not a princess either
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my work and really any other thoughts you may have! :)

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted.
I'm sorry I'm not your dream child.
I'm sorry I'm not beautiful.
I'm sorry I'm not smart.

I'm sorry I'm not talented,
That I didn't deserve your attention.
So sorry for not being popular,
Or thin and perfect.

I'm sorry I'm fat,
And I know I deserve this silent treatment.
I deserve the bullying,
The comments, the  glares.

I'm sorry my ruddy legs,
Only got me this far in life.
I'm sorry these red eyes,
Can't see anything but pity.

You haven't spoken to me in ages,
So I know you won't miss me.
You have ever asked me how I feel,
So I know you won't care.

I'm pretty sure you'd be happy
To see this letter.
You don't have to pretend,
You love me anymore.

I know.

You'll have the perfect family:
A rich Dad,
A happy Mom,
A beautiful Daughter and
A smart Son.

I know I don't fit here,
So there's no denying.

I'm sorry I have to do this,
But life doesn't want me here,
Or anywhere for that matter.

So I've decided to run away.
Alone.
No one needs me,
Believe me, I know.

I want you to know I love you,
Even if you don't.

Last of all,
I'm sorry I was never good enough.
Yes, I wish me to hell as well.

From,

**The daughter you never loved.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GREAT HALLOWEEN!! AND HOPE YOU HAD AN AWESOME DAY AND AWESOME COSTUMES!!!