You came to borrow
But only stole
The things of sorrow
And made them gold.

Time is so fleeting
But never ends
So for our next meeting
Let us be friends.

You claimed to love
And give affection
But from above,
I see perfection.

It never is
Just as it seems
And you always
See my bursting seams.

You make me strong
And feel at ease
I know it's not wrong,
So just love me please.

you tell me i'm the first person you ever really loved
we lie in bed and you stroke my hair
as if it's something i live for you to do
after our drunken bodies intertwined on the couch to American Beauty
tears of frustration from my paper eyelids
why can't i control my outbursts
why am i so sad
why can't i find anything to make me happy
you sit across the room and refold my green blouse for the 13th time and gaze at my suitcase
i realize you could never comfort me again
turning away because i can't bare to look at your face
you're sorry you lied and you thought it would be better if i didn't know and now we're in a sauna in italy
two bottles of wine down
and i can't tell if this is passion or desperation
passionate desperation
it was the last time your lips kissed my neck and i think back on my mistakes and i crush them up and i snort them
there is an ocean between us and theres no reason you wouldn't think that she's prettier
i always made fun of you for liking the front bottoms
i push your hand off of my thigh as i sob into my plate at breakfast
i cry in the airport when the lady from customs asks me about my trip
i cry harder when she says she hopes i can visit you again soon
we embrace for the very last time
i tell you to never speak to me again
you don't
you never looked back as i pulled my suitcase through security
i wish you had
i'm really sorry about the front bottoms

I am unimpressed with your apologies and artificial contrition
exasperation is what you draws you to me, it fills you up and makes you seek anyone, anything that will listen
our relationship is built on the foundation of You
when You are lonely, I am graced with the privilege of Your attention
I constantly mistake you for the sun
but even the sun is just an oversized ball of hot air
my words can prove theories and bring men to tears
they are often wasted on you, reassuring you of your dainty sense worth
ha
You are NOT the sun
the solar system does not revolve around You or Your fragile ego
I am beginning to realize,
neither should I

i'm wandering along a beach and i just killed the Arab
i'm waking up one day sophomore year and i'm deciding that it will be the last day of my entire life as i tie my shoes to go to school
i'm at my mother's wake and i'm trying to care but i just can't and i'm okay with it
i'm walking down the hallway and no one is making eye contact with me because they are afraid or disgusted or don't care or all of the above
i'm using some of my last breaths to yell at the priest and feeling no remorse
i'm making conversation with my last period teacher and smiling for the first time all day
i'm looking out at the crowd about to witness my death and feeling the gentle indifference of the world
i'm relating more to a sociopathic man in an absurdist novel than anyone i've ever met and i'm
not worried about it at all

All of the flowers
Need some amount of sunlight
In order to grow.

Passion is such a hard thing to control
When I have none myself.
People wish to prove their integrity
But I want none of it.
To me, words are the only things that speak-
Not actions.
Actions have never mattered to me.
You don't have to prove your passion
Because I already believe your words.

I cannot fathom
The fact that you are not lost-
A fathom away.

Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

     Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through