she holds on to hope with tight fingers
forgetting its a glass jar
abruptly shattered
into a million fragments
when she squeezes
screaming out
when cut by the pieces

brilliant bruises like diamonds
shine on my skin
with a child's naiveness
I trust you again

with a temper that is quick
and eyes gone black
I'm lying facedown on the bed
as your beating my back

I'd cry out in pain
but your ears are deaf
so I suffer in silence
self-hate beaten into my flesh

the belt buzzing
I pretend I'm not there
as the welts are rising
I'm choking for air

then all is quiet
behind the locked door
you tell me you love me
and beat me some more

love is

our unkept bed on a Sunday morning
clothes thrown on the floor
candles burned down to no wicks

sleeping off last nights tangled limbs
on the grey leather couch
infinity in crystal blue eyes

palm to palm, fingers entwined our lifelines cross
counterbalancing personalities complete the circle
protective of what is within

so familiar our anatomical embrace
we breathe shared air
beats in autotune, universe intact

there is no record of my birth
it isn't happenstance
that I the woman that stands here now exists
I stood on the threshold of childhood
my head hung down in immaculate shame
contempt and anger holding my undeveloped hands
through pure grit and grime, I crawled through the dregs
out windows into pure light