Pitter patter,
Is that the sound of the drops of rain streaming outside down my windowpane or is it in the pain I am feeling while the tears cascade down on my swollen cheeks?
I try to speak but no words come out,
The rain stops.
Pitter patter, the sound of my tears and the thudding of my heavy heart are now one.
I try to speak but no words come out.

Shredded liver
tattered soul
Feelings splintered
fractured bones
Heartbroken
mind blown

Walking shoes
   with worn soles

I'm merely collecting pieces
trying to be whole
Footsteps to and fro
going this alone
trying to dethrone
these nomadic throes

Still I cant see down the road
  and I know theres miles to go.

I liken our young teenage writers here to rose buds
Then visualize those rose buds in full bloom

I saw a woman today,
She was mysterious,
The Lavish red lipstick
accenting her
black-lined blue eyes
the air of perfume
Mystique,
Unknown to me the taste
Of breath,and lavender
I fall forward into her aura
This pale skinned beauty
Shook me to my bones
And her scarlet dress
sent the waft
Of affluence and European vacations
I'd never get to have
and it made me shiver

She raised a cigarette
With a gloved hand
to her lips and took a drag
This grace,
This angel of a sinner
Looked at me and cocked a perfect eyebrow
Peered round the rest of the party
and asked if I was going to keep staring
Or buy her a drink

I bought her a drink

My wine demon called again today
To ask if I wanted to go drinking with it
Tried to tempt me with a chilled Chardonnay
But I said no.

Then the pipe burst in tbe kitchen, water everywhere
And everything just went crazy, especially the kids
So wine demon and I sat on the stair
And I poured myself a large one

I am wasted on the idea of affection.

Of it I drink daily.
I sip and I sip
until my swollen heart aches in its lonely abiss

Many wonder why I weep so often.
But you could never know the pain of a hangover with a soul as drunk as mine.

there are a million stars and half a million gas stations between you and me but that doesn’t equal distance. day breaks, day shatters into evanescent pieces that float on the edge of my conscious mind, but you are the constant. your eyes the color of ground hazelnuts have always been my constant.

it doesn’t matter that we are separate beings because, here, in the light of a setting sun and a milky twilight, we are one. we are melted together like hershey kisses in a bowl on a summer evening and worry is not a word and slowly, you become my kryptonite.

missed phone calls, missed deadlines, missed laughs. i used to count your sneezes in the biting chill of early february and wrap your arms around my waist so i could feel like something was keeping my balloon from flying into the void where lost balloons go. i blame myself for letting you hold on until i finally took flight, spreading my wings out behind me like an angel's and kicking the invisible dust into your face.

now there are two million stars and a million gas stations between us because i am trying to forget that you ever broke the carefully crafted walls that contained all of my closeted skeletons.

i’m starting to remember why i never liked hazelnuts.