You taught me how to float
When I was sinking.
So why was it
That you allowed yourself to
Drown?

Life has been kind to me, I just haven't been kind to myself.

Being in a crowded place,
makes me feel numb.
Because dispite being surrounded
by smiling faces,
happy people
and positive thoughts...
i am so alone.
i'd prefer to be in bed
sleeping.
Forgetting the world.
Because being surrounded by people
who seem to be so fine..
makes me fall apart.
Because truth is,
im not okay.

I fall quite seldom, nowadays.
It's hard to love,
     when it's been stolen away.
Like the hands of time
     that rotate indefinitely.
I'll come back to you, my darling,
     next time, eternally.

Flowers wilt
Knuckles bleed
Friends leave
And the sun never shines
As bright as we make it out
To be

Buildings burn
Pavements crack
Cathedrals are abandoned
And we all lose
Something
That we can never get back

Vases break
Toys break
Cars break
Hearts break
And people
People break

We are taught that
The universe tends
to disorder

We are taught
To face
The inevitability
Of our collapse

We are taught that
In the end
Nothing remains
Sacred
Or holy

We are taught that
In the end
Nothing remains
Unbroken
Or whole

We are taught that
In the end
Nothing
Remains

I used to dream in you,
swim in the sweetness dripping from your lips,
drown in its foaming effervescence.
Your heart was an open ocean in which I could drift,
cradled and fearless.
seeking adventure;
a voyager hungry for new discoveries.
Your open soul was as expansive as universes
holding all the stars and suns and milky ways and moons.. and constellations.

Your words fell as gentle as falling snow
and melted deep into the crevices
and recesses of my mind,
a light that found every corner of darkness
and illuminated it,
stretching it beyond any capacity it had ever known.

I used to dream of you
of your giving spirit,
before it became as barren as the desert floor..
offering only mirages..
teasing like merciless vultures
feeding on the carrion of my desperate heart.

You stole my dreams of you,
a highwayman riding his horse of delusion;
wearing the garb of Lancelot
and the image of Dorian Gray.
You rode in from the sunset
haloed by a crimson dust,
bearing your concealed sword..

.. a sword that pierced the dreams of you,
pierced the golden sun to its core;
its light dimming and fading until it was no more.
and the air was filled with a gray, hot wind;
an inferno bearing through,
and carrying the putrid scent of confusion.

I used to dream.